by Marie Lomax

Created on: October 19, 2008

Adventures in Unusual and Interesting Flora (Jack & The Beanstalk)

Beans for Cows

Hi, my name's Jacqueline Hubbard, Jack to my friends, or at least to those who know me, friends is probably too strong a word and over descriptive for the casual crowd I occasionally share a beer with. Anyhow, let me explain why I feel the need to write this, you see my life is pretty mundane and that Monday morning was no different, so what suddenly changed?

There I am, sat in the shop, watching the rain drip from the guttering above, running down my window as I watch the street beyond; deserted, as usual. Here we are at the beginning of May and not a ray of sunshine in sight, not good for business. What do I sell? I have a little gift shop selling luxury, handmade, natural bath products, candles and gifts, ok that's the advertising out of the way. Seriously though, the last thing you come out to buy when it's raining is something that fizzes and dissolves in water and to be honest, the last thing I need next to my products (which fizz and dissolve in water) are wet and dripping customers.

The door opening startled me I hadn't seen anyone approach the shop and as I said I have a pretty large window and had been watching the street. I watched as an elderly lady entered and I got ready to employ my usual technique of allowing them quite a way in before casually moving myself between them and the door. I usually pretend to adjust something on one of the far shelves but it seems to make them awkward about leaving without buying anything as they have to pass close by me to get out. I didn't even get a chance to stand; she made straight for the counter.

"Do you have any Milk soap?"

This was going to be easier than I had anticipated, I had goats milk soap, a milk spice or a fun milk float' white with black spots to represent a cow. She chose the Milk Float and after I had wrapped it and told her the price, she held up a small cellophane bag and offered to pay me in magic beans. Now call me naive but anything that looks like coloured jellybeans should not be acceptable as currency either the woman was on some kind of narcotic substance or she was trying to sell me some.

Ten minutes later she had left with her purchase and I was the proud owner of 5 different coloured beans'. I know, how stupid, but I really can't remember how it happened, suffice to say she sounded very convincing.

She had left me some instructions with the beans and a disclaimer regarding plant allergies and any encounter

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