by Rosemary Redfern

Created on: October 19, 2008

We seem to be born with a capacity for imagination which, if we are allowed to develop it, becomes a reserve source of support in times of difficulty. It is a valuable resource to be treasured and played with at any age. Imagination can solve problems and help us to move to where we want to be.

To have an imaginative world takes the pressure off real life at times and permits us to explore 'might have beens and what ifs'. This is a safety valve. And out of imagination can come some wonderful creations, developments and stories for others to read. Imagination enriches the world.

If, however, we assume that an imaginary friend is a substitute for real life friends I cannot believe that this is the best way for children to develop their imagination.

Imaginary friends can only ever do what the child wants. They cannot, because they are the product of the child's imagination, challenge, disagree or react in any of the ways that real people do. They must reflect the child's view of the world. Perhaps they are a way of blocking out the adult world the children find themselves in and cannot deal with completely. An imaginary friend can refuse to do something a parent wants which the child is unable to say so for themselves.

A child who develops an imaginary friend is in some ways a lonely child because there is no one person who is real who can interact with them.

While I do not think there is anything bad in having an imaginary friend, I can only believe that a child with a rich variety of other living people around has a distinct advantage. Real people get cross, retaliate, view the world differently and present their view forcibly. From real people children learn how to become friends with someone else - even if it's siblings. Children learn how to fit into their society. The child learns how to negotiate with others. A child so isolated that they have no one real learns these skills the hard way, if at all.

At one level to have an imaginary friend sounds creative which it is but at another I think it might be worth exploring the type of imaginary friend the child has. Is the fictitious person the opposite side that the child presents to the world, is it someone who suggests things that the child would not normally say or do. Why is that necessary? How do we know? It makes me curious as to why there has to be someone else to speak for the child.

Children with imaginary friends are developing their imagination in a creative way, but is this a substitute for strong relationships with real people?

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