A Womans Desperation
The majority of people that reside in highly civilized societies have incorporated a moral compass that is severely influenced by that particular society's values, culture, and predominant religious belief. There are many safeguards built in to prevent individuals from acting out in gruesome finality, both biological and cultural. The development of a conscience paired with the moral and ethical guidelines that are enforced by societies in an attempt to achieve civility are what typically guide our actions and behavior. However, there is a point, under great duress, when that compass will shatter into a million pieces. I had reached just such a pointfrom a hard-working, decent, civilized member of society I had been transformed into a vengeful, remorseless, cold-blooded killer.
Placing the newly sharpened edge of the knife against her soft, vulnerable throat, I stared maniacally into her husband's eyes. I could feel the euphoria setting in, an intense rush of adrenaline pumping through my veins. The fear, the terror, the agony that was plaguing him was making my heart pound feverishly, my head swirl, and my entire body ache. All the excitement was making it difficult for me to hold the knife steady. It was unlike any other feeling I had experienced in my life, it was purely orgasmic on a cataclysmic scale. This distorted man, this unholy monster was now terrified of ME!
An overwhelming sense of power cascaded over me like a tidal wave and I wanted to savor every last drop. What pleased me the most was that this pathetic ensemble of a man was terrified of me, a woman he had believed was insignificant and weak. A woman he had painted as a victim. They all had been tragically mistaken and I planned to reveal to each and every one of them in gruesome detail just how faulty they had been in their judgment. Now I was the one in control and I would become the one thing they feared most. To them I would become the grim-reaper. I was Death.
A little blood drew around the wound created by the pressure from the razor-sharp blade pressing into her flesh. His eyes widened in terror at the sight of her agony amidst her whimpers and the tears streaming steadily down her face. This man cared not for me when he had done what he had so why in hell should I give a damn about her! She was just another innocent suffering in the name of justice or lack thereof, how ironic. All reason had escaped me. I had transformed myself into his own personal demon and I reveled in the power and satisfaction I gleamed from this dismal turn of events.
One single moment in time. One violent, lecherous act had brought about this misfortune. Had he put aside his egomaniacal, arrogant, and perverted nature this tragic situation could have been avoided. In order for me to justify my actions in my own mind I needed to villainize this man which was not a difficult task to perform. It afforded me the essential ability of drawing upon an unending supply of rage and unnatural amounts of fury that I would unleash upon him and his unsuspecting family with little fret of remorse. To me he was the equivalent of the anti-Christ, evil in its purest form and I had designated it as my job to rid the world of this ungodly being. But first I needed to see him suffer horribly, to see him experience a level of agony equivalent to or beyond that with which he had inflicted upon me...upon my family.
He was one of the men that had preyed upon me one drunken night, there had been a total of five of them. They cared not for I was just another young woman they could torture and manipulate...just another powerless victim. Someone no one else cared about a degenerate, a loser, a throw back to society that could be used and abused at their leisure. My boyfriend had been proven guilty of murder in the first degree of a local, extremely affluent businessman. The jury did not believe our story that he had attacked me and that my boyfriend and I had acted in self defense, fending off this man in a desperate effort to save my dignity and honor. Our efforts in defending ourselves inadvertently and unintentionally led to this man's unfortunate but deserved demise.
My boyfriend was burdened with a life sentence while I was hammered with a mere ten years. I managed to get paroled after eight and released back into society under the watchful eye of a questionable parole officer. My family had been persecuted because of the intangible label I bore in this small community. They suffered terrible prejudice and unfair treatment because of what their daughter was considered, a cold-blooded, vindictive killer. When my parents allowed me to move back home with them until I was able to stand on my own two feet once again they were cast out as evil and treated like low-life scum. Despite their devotion to the church and its causes, and their genuine kindness and compassion toward others my parents were shunned by the community. Those self-righteous, pious, and judgmental individuals who condemned them so readily did so without remorse or regret. They showed no signs of compassion, decency, forgiveness, or humanity.
While on parole a group of local cops and businessmen decided to take advantage of my unfortunate situation. I was walking home from my job at a local diner one evening when I was accosted by five drunken men. They handcuffed me in the darkness and tossed me into the back of their truck, drove me down to an empty campground by the lake and took turns raping me violently.
I was on parole which meant that they had all the power and control over me that they could possible dream of. They threatened to have me sent back to prison if I ever told anyone what had taken place that warm, summer evening. It was even suggested that if they did a quick search on my personhood or of my parent's home they would inevitably find drugs and have my entire family arrested for possession. I was terrified knowing full well that my parole officer could have me tossed back into prison at any time while I was on parole. My rights had been stripped, my reputation marred. I was a leper. Anything I said was considered an outright, unquestionable lie. Essentially I had nothing. I was merely allowed to live out the remainder of my sentence outside prison walls, vulnerable to the evils and corruption of the world.
Whatever I may have done in my past did not warrant what had happened to me that summer night. Two city cops, one sheriff's deputy, and two local businessmen decided to abuse their positions of power and through the art of intimidation and fear violated my body without any threat of repercussions for their actions. When they were done with me they drove me several blocks from my house, dropped me off, reminded me that if I said anything they would destroy my family and drove off in a drunken stupor. I prayed as I walked the rest of the way home. I prayed for guidance.
For several days I feared the sound of a loud, resounding knock on my door that suggested I could be hauled back to prison for some trumped up accusation. Several weeks went by and nothing transpired. It wasn't until late one evening about three weeks later when I was approached outside the diner where I worked by one of the men who had attacked me. He had recently bought the diner from my boss and was letting me know how pleased he was that we would be spending more time together. My skin crawled with disgust as he stared at me with a lecherous grin. I felt sick to my stomach as I realized the horrible predicament I was now facing.
My parent's had decided to take a trip out of town for a few days. They were considering a move to a neighboring city to be closer to my ailing grandmother. I stayed behind and watched the house while they were gone and as part of my parole requirements. As I approached the front door to my parent's house I noticed a sealed envelope stuffed in the handle with my name written on the front. Closing the door behind me and locking it securely I proceeded to open the letter. Inside their was a note that simply read 'Looking forward to hooking up with you again very soon' and it was signed Your Five Keepers. My back fell up against the wall as I slid down and dropped to my knees. Tears welled up in my eyes as I came to realize they would never stop. I belonged to them, to be victimized as they saw fit.
That night I lay in bed sobbing uncontrollably. Fear and anguish flooded my body as I fought to keep my sanity. If I ran I would go back to prison; if I told anyone I would go back to prison; if I did nothing I would continue to be abused, violated, and tortured both emotionally and physically which in and of itself was a personal living hell. I felt I had no other option. If I was going to go down I was going to take them with me in a desperate display of extreme violence.
Two scenarios are possible when you back a creature into a corner and induce terror or fear by utilizing scare or intimidation tactics. Either that animal will cower in terror and leave itself vulnerable to attack or it will fight with every fiber and instinct for survival in its body in an effort to defend itself. I was not about to cower down to the likes of these pathetic excuses for human beings. Something inside me snapped, a switch was flipped, and suddenly without warning I had become a malevolent force of considerable strength. My moral compass had been broken. Now it was all about survival. Vengeance was just icing on the cake.
Once I had my fill and felt the euphoria fading off into the depths of my soul I slipped the knife quickly across her vulnerable throat. Blood spurted out with incredible force as she squirmed for several minutes crying out in muffled pain, agony, and fear from behind the tightly wrapped cloth that covered her mouth. He yelped with shock and began to spew venomous obscenities as he struggled to free his bonds.
I rushed forward, knocking the chair he had been secured to backwards onto the floor. The wind had been knocked out of him as he struggled to regain his senses. I wanted him to suffer so I quickly moved the overturned chair into a position where he could stare into his wife's dying eyes. As she stared back at him her face flooded with tears, whimpering as her skin turned paler with each passing moment, I spoke softly in her ear telling her the circumstances that had brought her to this unfortunate predicament, about why I was doing what I was doing. Her face contorted with shock, then disgust, and then anger as she stared at him intently. His only words to his wife "I'm sorry" did not seem to comfort her in this tragic moment.
I removed the covering from her mouth to let her utter a few last words to her husband before the life completely drained from her body. I felt I owed her that much, after all, she was presumable an innocent that was suffering because of her husband's misdeeds. I also took a chance that they would be devastating to his fragile state of mind. I was pleased at the result. She had managed to mouth the spine-tingling phrase "How could you?" to him before she lost consciousness.
The life drained from her body onto the recently waxed wooden floor. I watched it pool and slowly spread across the floor in a predictable pattern. The agony, the pain, the torment evident in his eyes provided me with an incredible sense of satisfaction. I reveled in his misery, in the pain I had caused him though I felt some semblance of remorse at having to dispatch of the life of someone who had not been a party to the events that had led us to this point. But war was hell and this was a war.
I stared into his eyes and saw that he was broken. That was the indicator that informed me it was now time to dispatch of this evil creature, to send him screaming into the depths of hell knowing that he had been beaten by a mere woman. A woman he thought he controlled, a woman he thought he could torture and abuse without any repercussions, a woman he believed was weak and vulnerable. The prey had become the predator and now he would serve as the nourishment for my vengeance.
In time the others would follow him into the pits of despair. I would see to that personally. For now I was happy with my initial dispatching of the sheriff's deputy whom had been the ring leader. From the evidence I had gathered he was the one whom they followed, he was the one that had initiated the original assault against me, and he was the one who had suggested they continue to take advantage of my unfortunate and vulnerable predicament to have a little 'fun' as he had so delicately put it.
I wanted him to suffer slowly, painfully; to feel the immense gravity of his situation; to realize that he was dying. I stabbed him forcefully in the gut and watched him slowly bleed to death. The fire that danced within my eyes had gravitated toward the rest of my body. It felt as if my skin, my internal organs, even my hair were burning with the intensity of a raging inferno.
He had lost the will to fight back. He gave in and simply waited to die. I had won this battle but I still needed to win the war. One by one I would break them. I would show them a world of regret, despair, and anguish before sending them off into the fiery pits of hell. I was their judge, jury, and executioner. They would suffer as I had suffered. They would learn real pain and torment. I would see to that personally.
Four lecherous, despicable beings remained. The one whom had recently bought the diner where I had worked and had insinuated a threatening future received quite the initiation into hell. I seared his flesh with the end of a fireplace poker that had marinated in a seething fire of hatred. I branded his body with the word 'evil' before watching him drown in a sea of urine and feces. The grudge I held was unquenchable. I was an unstoppable force of destruction and desecration.
The other three, two city cops and a businessman, I had managed to catch all together in my web of agony. They had delivered themselves to my door like a gift from heaven. They had called the other two men looking to turn my world upside yet again and to abuse me in new and innovative ways but hadn't received a response. Choosing to take it upon themselves to embark on their desired misdeeds I happily met them with open arms.
They had not suspected that I was following them. As they pulled up into my drive with sinister intent I watched their every movement with anticipation. I watched them break into my home without reservation and wait patiently for my return. They knew my parents were gone and that I would be returning soon alone. At least, that is what they had assumed.
The dark figure slipped out of the shadows and silently entered my vehicle. He smiled at me with a mischievous grin.
"In ten minutes once the tranquilizers have taken effect I will be transporting them to the empty warehouse we discussed on the outskirts of town. No one will be able to hear them scream." He said chuckling. "They will be tied up as you asked. Would you like me to stay behind for security reasons?"
"No, I don't want any witnesses. It will be in your best interest in case you are ever questioned to not know what has happened behind those closed doors."
"Very well. Meet us there in fifteen minutes just to be safe and we will hand them over to you no questions asked."
I reached over to the glove compartment, opened it, and pulled out an envelope stuffed with money. I handed it to my accomplice with a grateful smile.
"Half now and the rest when I arrive at the warehouse as we agreed."
"Fantastic." He said as he counted the money just before exiting the vehicle. "Fifteen minutes."
I nodded at him and waited for him to disappear into the darkened recesses of the house. I did as he requested and waited fifteen minutes before starting the engine and heading toward the warehouse. The suspense was driving me mad.
I waited anxiously for the van to pull up the drive. Victory would be mine. Soon my reign of terror and vengeance would come to an end. It would be over and I could revel in my gruesome victories. I watched the headlights descend upon me. The large door to the warehouse opened with an eerie sound as the van approached the building and disappeared inside. Adrenaline pumped excitedly through my veins as I waited patiently.
The dark figure emerged from the shadows once again. He beckoned me toward the building with an exaggerated gesture. Entering the building I was pleased to see the three men who had attacked me tied securely to chair-like structures. The dark figure nodded at his companion who was standing next to the unconscious men. He grabbed a large syringe from a nearby oil drum and proceeded to stick each of the men, injecting them with a strange, unknown substance. The dark figure then gestured for his companion to leave quietly. He did as he was commanded.
I handed him another envelope with the remainder of the money. He asked once again if I cared for some help but I refused.
"They should come out of it in about five minutes. Good luck to you miss. Nice doing business with you."
I nodded and flashed him an appreciative smile as he snuck out the back door of the warehouse.
Five minutes felt like an eternity to me as I gathered the supplies I would be utilizing for the torturous plan I had in store for the three of them. I placed my tools on top of an old oil drum and waited. One by one they awoke from their forced unconscious state blinking wildly and attempting to shake off the grogginess that plagued them. In their mouths were giant ball gags to keep them from crying out for help. I reveled in their fear.
They stared at me with a mixture of anger and terror. While the three of them had been at work all day I had taken it upon themselves to pay their families a visit. It was the least I could do after all they had done for me. I had videotaped each torturous encounter and was about to play it for them on three different monitors that had been set up. They stopped squirming in their chairs once the television screens flickered on, mesmerized by the dancing static.
The first cop watched as his little boy was hit by a speeding vehicle as he was seen walking home from school. The scene was taped from the driver of the hit and run vehicles point of view. It was quite obvious by the blood and broken glass covering the windshield that the little boy's chances were very slim that he had survived this assault. The second cop watched as his parents were gunned down within the safety and security of their own home as they sat in front of the television watching re-runs of some old game show.
The businessman seemed to be in the greatest amount of distress as he watched his fiance being assaulted by an unknown, unidentifiable male assailant. He raped her viciously in a scenario that was identical to that which I had succumbed when they hatched their evil, perverse plan to violate me in a most heinous, despicable manner.
The pain and torment in their eyes, that exuded from every pore on their body was intoxicating. The defeat, the agony, the self-loathing now evident in their eyes filled me with incredible satisfaction and relief. There was only one task left unfinished
I doused the three of them bound and gagged with gasoline. Their eyes were wide with terror as they tried desperately to beg for their lives through muffled screams. I cared little for their predicament. I had lost all sense of compassion, remorse, and dignity the night they beat and raped me, the night they proved I was no longer considered a human being. I became a slave, a degenerate, a creature to be mistreated and abused according to their whim. When that happened I ceased to be human and became something much more heinous and malevolent. They had created a monster.
I held the lit match in my hand and watch it burn to my finger tips before blowing it out. I could hear the panic screaming wildly in their minds as they fought to voice their terror. I just smiled wickedly as I took a step closer to them and lit another match. The business man began to convulse violently as the other two men appeared horrified. I laughed ominously as the businessman's body fell limp. He had suffered from a fatal heart attack.
The third match that I lit I did not blow out. Tossing it onto the petroleum laden floor I took several steps back and watched as the flames grew furiously around these lecherous creatures, engulfing them, and cooking their flesh. Their screams though muffled were blood-curdling and had managed to make the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. The flames from the growing inferno began to lick the top of the building and spread with a voracious appetite. I quickly exited the building confident I had dispatched of my prey as intended. The smell of burnt flesh filled the air as I briskly walked to the car I had stolen earlier that day and hopped in.
Lighting a well deserved cigarette I drew in a deep breath and relaxed back into the comfort of the driver's seat. I did nothing to hide any evidence that would suggest I had been the one responsible for the deaths of these men. I assumed that I would eventually be caught but for now I would disappear into the shadows, cutting all ties with everyone I knew. Perhaps in time I would be apprehended but for now I would run and avoid capture at all costs. Life was meant to be lived and I was going to do just that despite all the cards stacked against me.
I said my goodbyes in a recording to my parent's on their answering machine never alluding to the horrific deeds I had committed. Ditching the vehicle I had stolen earlier I set off with a few precious items to disappear among the crowd. I would acquire a new identity and do whatever was necessary to live the remainder of my life outside prison walls. It was a hefty price to pay for revenge but one I willingly paid.