by Sila Anton

Created on: October 17, 2008

I have the world's greatest husband. He is smart, funny, charming and polite. I fell in love with him on our first date and I haven't looked back since. We have been married for just over two years now and everything is wonderful, fabulous, couldn't imagine a better life.

Well, except for:

His magnetic butt that knows exactly where his' spot is on the couch.

I guess I can think of his butt as a superpower. His butt is apparently equipped with a receiver that is able to locate his' spot on the couch with the greatest of ease. It has even carved out a butt shaped space on the cushion to ensure absolute comfort when my husband sits down. Also, this magnetic effect is so strong that his butt can do very little away from the couch. The pull is just that great that as soon as my hubby walks in the door he is drawn to the couch. His bottom should be considered one of the world wonders.

His fear of dry dishes.

This is a debilitating fear that results in my husband's inability to remove the dry dishes from the drain board before he loads it up with wet ones. If he even attempts to remove the dry dishes prior to loading up the drain board with wet dishes there are dire consequences. He starts to shake and falls to the ground where he begins rocking back and forth in the fetal position, singing camp songs. It is a very distressing situation. As a means of preserving his mental sanity he has decided that all dish washing duties should be entrusted to me, and my capable hands.

His allergy to toilet paper dispenser.

This allergy is very similar to the fear of dry dishes. My hubby is unable to touch the empty toilet paper roll or the toilet paper dispenser for fear of serious repercussions. If he were to even attempt to change an empty toilet paper roll he would spontaneously grow a third eyebrow and have candy apple red nail polish on all his toes. After several visits to his parent's house, I know that this is a genetic characteristic that all the men in his family share. So for his physical safety he has opted to forego ever changing the empty toilet paper roll, ever.

His X-box elbows.

This is a sports injury that he suffers from. Hours of X-box play has resulted in X-box elbows. The symptoms are very specific. His injury does not allow him to move the wet clothes from the washer into the dryer. If he were to attempt to move the clothes, his elbows buckle and crack. It also results in a crabby complain itis'. This is an affliction that causes him to whine, moan, and complain if I even suggest that he attempt to move the clothes. Because of these issues it is best that he avoid the laundry room completely.

His silky smooth finger tips.

These finger tips prove to be a true curse. His slippery fingers don't allow him to remove the glasses of water, juice and soda that he brings into the bedroom. Thus; resulting in a collection of glassware scattered throughout our bedroom and our kitchen cupboards bare. He has advised that he is doing research for this affliction during the time he spends glued to the couch. Apparently ESPN has some very good informational programming on how to live with this burden.

Other than those hardships that he lives with on a daily basis, he is absolutely fabulous and I love him completely and totally.

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