by idtm

Created on: October 17, 2008   Last Updated: November 12, 2008

It takes a lifetime to understand any culture but to take full advantage of the English class system requires several generations.

My Daughter was brought up in a largely French and international environment. Consider the challenge she faced when encountering the English and trying to interpret English Middle Class mores. The signs and signals that her English peers instinctively understood were not available and she had some difficulty in interpreting the shorthand of English social intercourse.

I offered her the following guidance.

Upon meeting for the first time, the early conversation will reveal all that either party will need to know about the social standing, each of the other. Class, religion, politics, income and even profession may be guessed at with reasonable assurance. Absolute precision is not the object of the assessment. The system merely has to deliver sufficient detail to avoid direct questions and unwitting ignorance of either party's social position.

The first greetings may be opened with

"Hello" or "Hallo" or "Hullo"

This enables the listener to establish the accent at an early stage. This is a key class indicator. It may additionally give away the regional or educational background of the speaker. This is crucial for refining placement in the class hierarchy, as shall be seen later.

If introduced, each may go on to say:

"How do you do!"

Correctly this is a question, but it is treated as a greeting and requires no response other than "How do you do". "Very well thank you" is acceptable but further elaboration is not necessary. For the English there is nothing worse than asking someone how they are and then they tell you. They would never wish to discuss their health, or anyone else's, with total strangers.

Conversely, in the English view, the French love any excuse to discuss their health. Greeting them with the equivalent of "How do you do" threatens an extensive exposition on the current state of their health that sounds like a cross between a formulary and a pre-edited article for Hypochondriacs Weekly.

The English conversation will open with a brief discussion about the weather or, if you are unlucky, a long monologue about the weather. Weather, unlike health, is something the English will happily discuss with anyone at any time. Complete strangers or lifelong friends may be included in what is possibly the only safely egalitarian opening available to the English. The advantage of this is that it is everyone experiences weather regardless of social

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