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me that the moons, planets, stars, angels, saints, and tarot cards all conspired to make you tear-up a family? You don't think that just the least bit arrogant?

I know: you're gonna say, "But we're not hurting anyone." Oh, okay, except that you're hurting yourselves. Sustaining and rationalizing your affair, how many ways have you violated your own integrity? I'll help you count them:

1. First, you have mistaken taking care of your ego's needs for loving a woman. Don't deny it: you feel thrilled that a womanany womaneternally committed to another manany other manwould set-aside those vows made "in the presence of God and these witnesses" for you! Wow, you're bigger than God, her whole family, and all her friends. How awesome you must feel! Of course, you will have to fork-over some measure of your reputation for growing bigger than God. Try-on and test-drive your new nickname"Homewrecker." How does it feel? Sure, you imagine we apply that term only to women; sorry, dude, welcome to the new millennium. You do the damage, you wear the badge. In the grand scheme of things, that's not really so outrageous, though, is it?

2. Second, you conveniently have overlooked how much a target you have become. The woman does have a husband, after all; you do remember that guy who put those rings on her left hand, that guy who fathered your woman's children, that guy who's currently keeping the house out of foreclosureyou do remember him, don't you? Eventually, he will discover his wife's infidelity, and when he finishes taking-out the first half of his rage on her, he will spend the second half of all those overwhelming feelings on you. Oh sure, you know the guy's a wimp. The bigger the wimp, the bigger the gun. Never-ever underestimate the power of a man's broken ego.

3. Third, you openly, flagrantly, with neither shame nor apology settled for "sloppy seconds." Don't you see just a little contradiction here? On the one hand, you're bigger than God; on the other hand, you're eternally doomed to second place. How do you reconcile that contradiction? More importantly, how well does this arrangement really reinforce your self-esteem: are you really okay with borrowing another man's woman when you far more easily could have one of your very own? Why? You cannot honestly claim you cannot find a single woman equally hot, equally brilliant, equally affectionate, and equally passionate? Do you feel absolutely certain you didn't settle for second-place from sheer expedience, or maybe to keep-down the maintenance costs? Looks a little sketchy to me.

I know: you're gonna say, "Ya know, you're right; and I'm gonna end itfor her sake." And, dude, I trust you actually will mean it. You will mean it with all your heartright up until the very first split second you see her again, that familiar desire rises to cloud your brain and throb your heart, and passion sweeps you two lovebirds off to the land of bliss. You won't hurt my feelings; I don't demand the impossible. I just hope your woman's really watching your back.

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