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Most women give their all in a relationship. They get a new hairdo, a new dress or a sexy pair of shoes. We as women, also seem to overlook a lot of things that is so obvious. We can go on year after year and try to convince ourselves that it's nothing or that he loves you and that he'd never do that to you. Only to find out that he has done it. Plenty of times...time and time again. But sometimes, we as women choose to ignore the obvious signals because we are afraid of being alone. Sometimes, we don't want to know the truth. We think its okay to pretend that the signals are not there because we have security where we are at. And where are we? That would be a state of denial.

So can a relationship work with a cheater spouse? No. A man knows exactly what he can get away with it. And if a woman choose to ignore the obvious signals(coming home from work late, two to three hours late, uninterested in sex, change of wardrobe, etc), then her husband knows that he can run over her. I ganrantee you that every man that has cheated knows that his wife has a clue. The woman on the other hand, may argue with him, fuss or fight but most of the time they are still together after the fight. So what is she holding on to? Security or the relief of loneliness.

Unfortunately, she still struggles with low self-esteem, the feeling that no one else will love her. The feeling as though she cannot do any better or that this may be what she deserves. Its okay, most women feel that way due to past hurt and loneliness. This may be due to a deep rooted issue beyond what is obvious to others.

The guy on the other hand has to grow up for himself and unfortunately a woman can not change a man. He will come to his maturity when he choose to do so. It may take a great deal of time for him to realize that its time to grow up.

But should she put her life on hold to wait on him? It may take months, years or even a decade. The bible says till death do you part, but it also says that adultery breaks the vow.

Relationships takes time. Before marriage, one should love thyself first; accept thyself; become comfortable in his or her own body; define a meaningful life; have long-term and short-term goals; have his or her own financial stability and decent credit.

Having a defined life before entering into a matrimony will add trust, commitment and security to a relationship with the great intentions to grow.

Learn more about this author, Shannon Perkins.
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