by Psalmist4M

Created on: October 17, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

I came from a large family (I am the oldest of eight) where we were poor but didn't realize it. My father and mother did everything they could to provide for us and would sacrifice to give us their best. I was very self absorbed - influenced by my peers and wanted to be like my friends and all the "it" girls.

But when I went away to college, I found out my roommates was from a single parent home and she really brought me down to earth. Her relationship with her mother was so revealing and special. I realized the value she placed on the sacrifices her mother made for her. She vocalized her appreciation and was very open with her emotions about her mother's love. I didn't grow up in a home where we displayed our feelings.

But I learned a life changing lesson from this. When we see through the eyes of others we can see with compassionate hearts and our views are changed. We discover the world doesn't revolve around us except in the eyes of our parents. And we should learn to appreciate their unconditional love and realize how blessed we are to have them. Not everyone is so blessed.

Yes, there are those who will never see past their own noses. But it's a choice we make. We choose to look past ourselves and have an unobstructed view of what's important. We can't focus on those who don't make wise decisions but take responsibility for our own choices.

I do agree that we should not spoil our kids and give them everything they ask for or think they just can't live without. Unfortunately, they have grown up in a society that teaches them that it's just expected or assumed or that "they are entitled to get everything that's coming to them."

But I think we need to reinforce the old fashioned tough choices that teach them some things are more important than getting everything they want. They will be better citizens and better people when we good values. Sometimes "No" or "Not now" shows you love them as much as saying "Yes". I don't believe we should confuse "love" with desiring our kid's "approval".

We need to understand God created us-parents, to provide the boundaries with parental responsibilities and kids are built with a God given desire for us to fulfill it. They don't know it but they appreciate it when we take ownership. No, it's not always easy or popular and the kids don't usually not realize they need it but in the end, we gain the most vital things that count...their love and respect.

That's what they need. That is what's important!

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