It's a gloomy, cloudy Sunday morning. You don't want to do your homework because you still have twelve perfectly useful hours left in the day to get it done. You don't want to go back to sleep because you are bored, not tired. You don't have anyone to talk to because they are all in church, studying, or playing a sport. You don't want to drag a drum set in front of your neighbor's lawn piece-by-piece and beat those cymbals and pads until you're out of breath...or do you?
A random act of stupidity may or may not injure you, may or may not get you in trouble, but it is guaranteed to spike your adrenaline levels. Let's look at our first act, for example. If your neighbor hasn't stopped you from completing your setup by the time your bass pedal is attached, you will be able to go ahead and play as obnoxiously as you want. If your neighbor opens his or her door and yells at you to stop, your next move depends on some of your neighbor's characteristics and personality. If your neighbor happens to be a forty year-old ex-marine or a marathon runner, you'd better drop your sticks and run home as fast as possible (the downside of this is that your set is now in enemy territory). Yet, if your neighbor is elderly, overweight, or just plain lazy, you may ignore his or her shouts for several minutes before a call to the cops is hinted at.
That last sentence brings me to my next point: don't get caught. Whether or not what you decide to do affects others is inconsequential; someone is going to have a problem with your expression of stupidity, otherwise known as creativity. Let's say that you plan to skateboard down Main Street wearing a loincloth and yelling like a Native American. This isn't going to hurt anybody, unless you happen to crush a few toes as you go, but then you wouldn't be a very good skateboarder, now would you? Yet, people will get angry because they wish they had thought of your idea (or they could be offended) and likely attempt to have you punished. You will need to have an escape plan, such as having a friend park his car a few blocks off of your path, stocked with clothing and makeup to guise yourself appropriately after being seen.
If you are caught, you still have one last option to keep the heat off of you; a scapegoat. When there's someone else there to take the blame for your actions, you will be grateful and relieved if not a tad guilty. To get a scapegoat lined up for your next performance, be sure to make the suggestion of a reward. For example, lure your "friend" to the china shop on the false pretense of seeing Michael Phelps before you don a mask and ride a bull through it. In this scenario, your chances of success are increased if your friend is an avid swimmer, which leads me to my next bit of advice: know thy enemy. Sure, a scapegoat doesn't have to be your most hated foe, but it helps to find someone who at least fits your concept as the ideal man (or woman) for the job. If you know that a kid can run a quarter of a mile in fifty seconds, don't pick him to do your dirty work! Pick someone slow and out of shape who won't be able to escape the situation.
Someone will always try to disrupt your fun, even if he or she doesn't want you punished for your actions. Many people just get a kick out of seeing how many hits at point-blank range with a paintball gun will floor them; it's only natural. But when that parent or guardian walks into the backyard and tells you to put the weapon away and stop killing yourself, you need to candidly state that what you are doing is perfectly within your physical limits and very safe. Be sure to continue what you are doing for as long as possible before moving. Fire some warning shots if you have to, or agree to stop doing harm to your body in exchange for a crack at some bottles and scarecrows. Always be sure the benefit from the situation, no matter what the cost.
Remember: people will always be jealous of your unique shenanigans, no matter how much joy they bring to yourself or to the public at large. Either ignore them or fight them. When you go running through Wegman's supermarket without a shirt, don't clothesline that security guard; he's on the "ignore" list. By all means, when that jock steps in front of you to "put an end to this nonsense," go ahead and take him down like the Berlin wall. In this scenario, it helps to be an experienced runner...or boxer. Make sure you have a smile on your face too, in order to lighten the mood.
A random act of stupidity is a reprieve from the dreariness of everyday life, an escape from the old routine. It is a most refreshing endeavor that tests your true courage and creativity, so it should not be looked down upon in the slightest. As long as whatever you are planning does not maim or kill someone, please try to have fun with it. You can make one heck of an explosion by shaking up a six-pack of Coke and throwing it off a roof...
I do not suggest that you do anything to directly harm yourself or others in the process. All of the situations above are purely hypothetical and meant to be examples only. Yet, I stand by my claim that defending yourself from a jock in a supermarket is a completely rational action. Why shouldn't a cocky little S.O.B be put in his place? I say, self-defense is completely legal and morally upstanding. If you try to wear a clown suit to school one day, you will be trapped like a rat, for everyone will know it's you and it is highly unlikely that your agility will remain at its highest while wearing the suit. Be smart about it; spend a few hours planning your random act, forget about it and put it away, then pull it out in a couple of weeks to make it even more random.