by David Aaron White

Created on: October 16, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

It's a gloomy, cloudy Sunday morning. You don't want to do your homework because you still have twelve perfectly useful hours left in the day to get it done. You don't want to go back to sleep because you are bored, not tired. You don't have anyone to talk to because they are all in church, studying, or playing a sport. You don't want to drag a drum set in front of your neighbor's lawn piece-by-piece and beat those cymbals and pads until you're out of breath...or do you?

A random act of stupidity may or may not injure you, may or may not get you in trouble, but it is guaranteed to spike your adrenaline levels. Let's look at our first act, for example. If your neighbor hasn't stopped you from completing your setup by the time your bass pedal is attached, you will be able to go ahead and play as obnoxiously as you want. If your neighbor opens his or her door and yells at you to stop, your next move depends on some of your neighbor's characteristics and personality. If your neighbor happens to be a forty year-old ex-marine or a marathon runner, you'd better drop your sticks and run home as fast as possible (the downside of this is that your set is now in enemy territory). Yet, if your neighbor is elderly, overweight, or just plain lazy, you may ignore his or her shouts for several minutes before a call to the cops is hinted at.

That last sentence brings me to my next point: don't get caught. Whether or not what you decide to do affects others is inconsequential; someone is going to have a problem with your expression of stupidity, otherwise known as creativity. Let's say that you plan to skateboard down Main Street wearing a loincloth and yelling like a Native American. This isn't going to hurt anybody, unless you happen to crush a few toes as you go, but then you wouldn't be a very good skateboarder, now would you? Yet, people will get angry because they wish they had thought of your idea (or they could be offended) and likely attempt to have you punished. You will need to have an escape plan, such as having a friend park his car a few blocks off of your path, stocked with clothing and makeup to guise yourself appropriately after being seen.

If you are caught, you still have one last option to keep the heat off of you; a scapegoat. When there's someone else there to take the blame for your actions, you will be grateful and relieved if not a tad guilty. To get a scapegoat lined up for your next performance, be sure to make the suggestion of a reward. For example,

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