by S. Murray

Created on: October 15, 2008

"Through The Eyes Of Love"

I have seen love through eyes of a child and learned disappointment. I saw parents who were "supposed" to love each other, angry and bitter. I saw a man and a woman who had a child that they both loved in their own way, yet was it the right way? If so, why did I cry so often? Why did I have such a feeling of rejection? Is that love?

I have seen love through the eyes of a teenager and found temptation and unreality. The life of confusion that comes with being a teen led me to believe that love was associated with others expectations of what I could do for them. Love meant trying to please someone else to get the affection that an older "child" relates to the meaning of "love". Love was an illusion.

I have seen love through the eyes of a young woman and found no foundation for truth. I married young and thought myself to be in love. The romance novel type love, everlasting and always for the "good" of all. Yet, the feeling of emptiness inside told me I was missing something. Maybe I just could not get it "right".

I have seen love through the eyes of a mother and found both joy and sorrow. Joy at having someone of my very own to love, yet sorrow at not being the kind of parent I should have been. Again, I just could not get it right.

I have seen love through my thirties and found lust replacing true love. The dire need for attention and affection had me replacing love and self respect with short term attention and lust. . Love would not leave you feeling used and tossed away, would it?

I found love in my forties and yet still yearn to find the unconditional. Have I found the real thing? If I have found true love, why would it hurt so much, so often? Do I still not understand how love is supposed to work? Have I not pleased him? Have I not shown him I care for him? Am I not

loving him or looking at him the way I need to be? Have I again, not gotten it right?

Then suddenly, I found the one and only true unconditional love. I found Jesus. He loved me for who I am, not as an unwanted burden, not as someone who had to "change" who they were created to be. It did not depend on what I could do for him nor if I were a "good" parent to him. His love for me was not merited by my being able to please him in any way. Jesus loved me for me. He saw me through eyes of pure love; unconditionally and without exception.

So, I ask now that I begin to see through the eyes of Jesus as I look at my husband, my children and myself. Give me unconditional love, my Lord.

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