by Keelar

Created on: October 15, 2008

Staying at home to be with your children is a major sacrifice, but one I have done without any regrets.

Before I had my first child, my life with my husband was carefree and we could basically please ourselves every day (apart from having to get up and go to work of course!). Money was in abundance because we had two salaries coming in, and we didn't think twice about going out every weekend, be it to the cinema, restaurants, anywhere. We could just make our mind up and be walking out the door within 5 minutes. We could spend our money on anything we wanted (new clothes, DVDs, things we didn't really need but wanted); see friends regularly, stay out all night, and do what ever we liked, because we only had ourselves to think about.

Once you have a child, it all changes and things come sharply into focus. The sacrifices you have to make, especially if you want your child to have a stay at home parent, are immense.

When I became pregnant, my husband and I decided I was to be a stay at home Mum. This was because we both wanted what was best for our child, and that didn't mean earning lots of money so we could buy her the latest toy or gadget. It meant me being there for her at all times and giving her a loving and safe environment in the home.

This however, came with a lot of sacrifices, the main one being the incredible drop in our monthly income, it was practically halved! This in turn meant we had to review our spending habits, and basically focus on what was important for our child in terms of spending money.

Some of the sacrifices we had to make were as follows:

We went down to one car; we only really needed the one for my husband to get to work every day. I could get around on foot or public transport. This saved a lot on fuel costs, and of course car maintenance.
Food, we had to assess our weekly food shopping and we went back to basics. I now buy fresh ingredients and cook main meals from scratch (which is healthier anyway) rather than buy a lot of ready prepared meals.
Social commitments, these practically stopped once our daughter was born, it's difficult to keep up with social engagements anyway when you have a child, but we have made a point of not going out on a regular basis, and not eating at restaurants etc. This reduced our monthly outgoings quite substantially.
Spending habits, we now only buy things we need. We used to buy things we wanted without a second thought, but now it's very rare we spend money on ourselves.
There are other little things that we have found ourselves to be sacrificing without even realising, but these just come naturally now. Once you have a child, your whole perspective on life changes and things that you used to see as important just pale into insignificance.

Our life has completely changed now I am at stay at home Mum, but it is the most rewarding thing I have ever done and I would never ever change it. The first few years of your child's life are so precious that you would be crazy not to sacrifice all these things to spend quality time with him or her everyday. Once your children are older and more independent, then there might be a time for parts of your "original" life to return. But I can say with complete honesty that I am enjoying every second of my time at home with my daughter, and things like not having a car to get around in, not seeing friends regularly, not wearing the latest fashions or having the latest gadget do not seem like sacrifices at all.

Having a child is a turning point in your life; it shouldn't be labelled as a time to make sacrifices!

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