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not cultivated, allowed to grow, nourished and cared for, can seemingly become an arrangement made in hell. In this era, contemporary statistics recording the social outcomes of marriage are the most poignant critics of the socially-enforced definition of the " family unit", which is rapidly changing because it must..

The majority of marriages may initially be described as "made in heaven", implying somewhat unrealistically that the sense of perfection will last forever. Reality then begins to come into focus, with stresses of daily life, financial stress, seemingly unreasonable demands of family, unemployment, or a myriad of other concerns. In real life, under stress, dissatisfaction, imperfections and faults soon come to the surface, perceived or real. Herein lies the turning point and the unraveling of many relationships.

Mistakes made, no matter how serious, and latent defects rising to exposure, if handled correctly, are not a problem. Further observation may lead to slight disagreement, discussion, reason, arguments, and comment. If allowances are made to adjust, a couple can in fact become stronger under duress, and the relationship will endure.
With failure to address the problems, however, the transition to accusations, regardless of fact, and assignment of blame and guilt takes place. With little yielding and enough tugging, simple, or even perceived problems, however slight, become magnified enough to invent anger and ridicule. Personal defects, minor errors, or less than perfect characteristics may be subsequently reclassified as irreconcilable, totally unacceptable personal faults.

Interestingly, the destructive process does not even have to be consciously conducted. Perhaps even without being aware one is doing so, tiny perceived imperfections may encourage latent, hidden anger which is eventually brought to the fore, often repeatedly. Personal characteristics and minor mistakes, then assigned far more importance than necessary, induce embarrassment or ridicule, initiate and encourage substantial dislike, distrust, and stress in the relationship. The mirror illusion of love and perfection is cracked. The unity of the relationship is eventually shattered, and lacking corrective measures taken, it will clearly fail.

In wisdom it must be recognized that under even optimal circumstance, the durability of any relationship is tentative at best. It must be understood that endless idealism and optimism is erroneously, albeit blindly, or at times even purposely,

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