by Todd Pheifer

Created on: October 13, 2008   Last Updated: October 20, 2008

Experiencing stress during the Thanksgiving holiday seems a bit counterintuitive, but it still occurs on a regular basis. Despite the name of the holiday, some struggle with the concept of actually being thankful. For some, life is not going terribly well, and a holiday called "Thanksgiving" is a painful reminder that life is not progressing as planned. Others may be caught in an ongoing spiral of busyness, which makes it difficult to slow down, even for a long weekend. Still, there are ways to truly enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday without it being a pinnacle of stress. In many ways, Thanksgiving can be a very "pure" holiday and it is one of the least commercialized days on the calendar.

Share the workload

One way to make Thanksgiving less stressful is to share the responsibilities with others. Just because you are hosting Thanksgiving dinner does not mean that you personally must prepare the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry salad, carrots, corn, pumpkin pie, and beverages. If you have people coming over, ask them to bring something. That way, you aren't faced with timing multiple dishes within a gigantic meal like Thanksgiving.

Sometimes things are good enough

Some people are detail-oriented. Others might describe them as neurotic or obsessive-compulsive. Regardless of the depth of people's attention to detail, the finer points can be a distraction. It can be difficult to put exact ranges to this concept, but the bottom line is that sometimes things are truly "good enough." In other words, some people will experience major stress trying to get things "right." The trouble is that in a high-stress situation, there may not be a point where everything is just right. Also, having such a high degree of concern for the details leaves people open to major distraction if something goes wrong. The reality is that something almost always goes awry. Something gets spilled or knocked over, someone is late, or a dish doesn't quite turn out the way it was supposed to be. Again, this is a holiday to relax and be thankful. People have to be ready to be satisfied with things as they are.

Are they friends or not?

Finally, Thanksgiving is (in theory) about spending time with family and friends. This emphasizes the prior point because these are the people who should be most accepting of the current situation. In other words, if things are not just right and someone is offended, then perhaps they are not quite the friends you thought they were. Nothing says friendship like taking the good with the bad and injecting a bit of understanding into a complicated situation.

As mentioned, Thanksgiving is "supposed" to be a time for gratitude. So, relax this Thanksgiving season and take a moment to reflect on those things that are satisfying and good. Everyone has trouble in his or her lives, but spend a minute, take a deep breath, and try to be thankful. This will make the holiday so much more satisfying.

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