by Lori Buttermark

Created on: October 13, 2008   Last Updated: February 24, 2009

She is too old for dolls, yet still too young for boys.

Yeah, Mom, you thought the 2am and 5am feedings were draining. Once again, here you are, or, did you ever stop sitting in the driver's seat? This time you are at the Stop Sign of Sensitivity Avenue regarding your little girl's concerns.

No one was there for you growing up to help you through the teen stages, but your parental skills package includes sharing your experience and connecting with your teen queen from the teenage prospective. She will receive the proper foundation in preparation for what lies ahead.

The following tips are suggested during this sensitive scenario:

1) Assure your teenage daughter that no matter how sensitive the subject, you want her to feel warm n' fuzzy when sharing her feelings, thoughts and questions regarding changes. It is important to emphasize the fact that she is not alone. Every young lady feels sensitive about stuff.

2) Assure her of total confidentiality. It's a secret between the two of you, forever, especially regarding her new feelings, emotions and other sensitivities that she doesn't quite understand at this time.

3) Pick a time and place where you both are guaranteed privacy for this and many forthcoming chats. You don't need or want extra ears tuning in.

4) During this private time, serve up her favorite beverage and snack to lighten the spirit, along with hugs. This makes it personal and helps her feel secure and special.

5) Share your experiences as a teen and how Mother Nature plays a huge part in your life. There's a lid for every pot and there's nothing that can't be fixed. Adding a touch of humor will help to soothe her doubts and fears.

6) There nothing more frustrating for a child than to hear, "I'm busy now, we'll talk later." This merely adds to her already anxious, sensitive state of mind. You must stop and be totally focused and available for her sensitive needs.

She does not have agenda and should not have to wait for Mom's free time. Let her know that you are available for her twenty-four/seven, 365 days a year. This is what moms do. She did not ask to be born and there's no instructional manual about introducing her to a new chapter of becoming a young woman.

7) Ask her how she feels about stuff. Let her know that it's okay to say "no" if she is pressured by anyone to do something that feels wrong and walk away.

8) Most importantly, be her "rock"; be that "one positive constant" support in your daughter's life that she can turn to whether she's a teen or adult. Let her stand before the mirror and point out to her the beautiful, funny and smart teen in the reflection.

On the weekend, make a mom-daughter fun-time date, experimenting with hairstyles, makeup and impromptu wardrobe.

Every moment you are there for her, she will remember for the rest of her life. A beautiful house is built on a strong foundation.

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