by Glynnis Hayward

Created on: October 12, 2008   Last Updated: October 19, 2011

The author E.P. Powell said that "Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of men; but be careful that you do not take the day and leave out the gratitude."

Unfortunately this happens all too often. Thanksgiving can needlessly become a very stressful time of year, ceasing to be a precious jewel. With self-imposed expectations, it's all too easy to become intent on having the imagined perfect holiday, while forgetting the true purpose of Thanksgiving. It becomes, instead, a quest to have your home looking spotless and shining, the meal perfect, and of course the timing fine-tuned for the multiple dishes you will be serving. The table and home must be decorated festively, with all the linen looking crisp and the silverware polished; decisions must also be made about what to wear. With all the fuss, probably by the end of  Thanksgiving Day you will be thinking, "What I am truly thankful for, is that Thanksgiving is over for another year!"

If this strikes a chord with you, then why not make this Thanksgiving different? Stop the hyperactivity and reflect on David Grayson's words: "Thanksgiving is the celebration of work and the simple life... a true folk-festival that speaks of the poetry of the turn of the seasons, the beauty of seedtime and harvest..."

In the present economic climate, it is an especially good time to trim down the excesses and pressures of what Thanksgiving can sometimes become. It's a time to gather with family and friends; to enjoy one another with gratitude and humility. So, let's get started on how to make Thanksgiving simpler and more enjoyable for everyone. If you, the host, are relaxed, everyone else will be too. You will set the tone.

Housecleaning obviously can't be shared with the guests. It can be shared with the family, however, and can be done a day or two beforehand so that you aren't exhausted on the day. Make a list and check things off, so that you don't lie in bed making mental lists. Set the table the day before, so that Thanksgiving Day is more leisurely with time to enjoy family and your guests. Have some dishes that can be prepared ahead of time, so that you don't have to spend all Thanksgiving in the kitchen; an excellent choice for example is Creamed onions. This entails boiling small onions and making a white cream sauce, with a dash of sherry, which is poured over the cooked onions. All of this can be done the day before, then thirty minutes before serving you pop the dish into the oven, alongside the turkey and other vegetables. Consider other dishes that can be prepare ahead too, like Butternut Soup as a first course. It can be made ahead and warmed through just prior to serving. Cranberry sauce is also a make-ahead dish.

It's a good idea to accept offers of help to share the cooking load. Family and friends genuinely mean it when they suggest helping, and it adds to the feeling of community - just as the very first Thanksgiving was celebrated. Pumpkin pie, for example, is easily transportable and so are many vegetable dishes, so don't feel you have to do it all yourself. That isn't what the perfect holiday is all about.

So don't stress. Slow down and enjoy the time, reminding yourself that Thanksgiving is a unique holiday. It is a time to be grateful for family and friends, for homes, and for food on the table. Don't have the day and "leave out the gratitude."

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