Being able to change your destiny is secondary to understanding destiny. If you don't have a personal definition for destiny, then you have no concept of what it is you wish to change. Destiny means different things to different people. To change your destiny, examine the different meanings people ascribe to that word.
DETERMINISM.
Some very antiquated psychologists believed that one's "destiny" was established by the time you reached puberty because of the various trauma and relationship patterns you had learned to develop in childhood. This kind of fatalistic view of one's psychological destiny got termed "determinism." If that's what you mean by destiny, then you're in luck. The latest research shows that your infancy and childhood are important determining factors in creating a personality, but that there are so many other psychological factors that go into individual personality that it's impossible to make any kind of blanket statements about destiny. But, even if you are locked into certain patterns of behavior because of your childhood, there is still good news. A Freudian psychologist will be very willing to take your money and listen to you talk. That's what passes for therapy in psychology. And, according to them, after years of therapy you may begin to understand the patterns that you create enough to be able to channel your actions into a more holistically profound manner of existence in order to create a more realized personhood. If not, well, you got all that crap about your mommy off your chest.
PRE-DESTINATION
Religious ly, a paradox exists when we begin to discuss destiny. God gives us free will. That's pretty clear no matter what religion you practice. It's also pretty clear that God already knows what's going to happen to you every single day until you die and go to heaven (or wherever, in your case, I don't want to make any hasty judgments). So, which is it? Am I walking a fundamentally pre-determined path like a train on railroad tracks, or am I an agent of free choice, who determines what I will have for lunch (pastrami)? To change your destiny is not only impossible, it is veritably sacriligious. Take for example, Christianity. Saint Paul tells us that God worte our names in the book of life before the creation of the earth. Well, if you're not in the book, is there anything you can do to put your name there? Does God have a really big eraser for those people who change their destiny and decide not to be in the book? In terms of religion,
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