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I'm not fond of my generation, which has been called "Generation X" (golly, you might actually figure out how old I really am!). Generation X is epitomized by semi-prostitutes like Winona Ryder, over the counter drug addiction, unencumbered ennui, tattoos and piercings, and college dropouts who, TO THIS VERY DAY, live in their parents' basements. The concept that this generation is now at prime childbearing age is harrowing. Nor is my best friend particularly proud of her own Generation Y, which has produced winners like Kevin Federline and reality television.

But despite their under-achievements, no generation can surpass the stupidity of the current one, Generation Jackass. The trend began with Tom Greene of MTV fame, who liked to wander around Canada "humorously" assaulting friends, strangers, and when all else failed, his own family. Ashton Kutcher gladly took the moron helm, "punking" anyone not intelligent enough to sue. In the spirit of competition, the reality show Fear Factor somehow attracted its own idiocracy by offering scenes of bug eating and vermin immersion.

Only one show has risen to the crown, proving beyond a doubt that this generation is indeed the most pathetic, decadent, wasteful scum the human race has ever produced.

JACKASS.

Jackass, a show where grown men alternately pummel themselves and each other in a thinly veiled homoerotic foreplay. It's a show manufactured to appeal to lazy parent-less children who gobble mindless entertainment violence in lieu of real challenges and triumphs.

Jackass has spawned a legion of imitators, including boys who videoed themselves putting limbs and faces in a steel animal trap to broadcast on YouTube. Young boys these days delight in staping small firecrackers to their chests and exploding them. If I were the leader of a group of aliens, these are the examples for which I would request wiping the human race off the face of the Earth.

Generation Jackass will get what it deserves, which is severed limbs, facial disfigurement, and death.

Learn more about this author, Nariko Yamata.
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