by Jennifer Wells

Created on: October 10, 2008   Last Updated: October 11, 2008

"Look at her. Look at how they make her dress, isn't it such a shame? They are so overprotective; she is not allowed to do anything. Can you imagine?"

It ranks among the most humiliating moments of my life. I was nearly seventeen years old and my family had come across state lines to work at a concession stand during a state fair because the man who had been my dad's boss as a young man had passed away and his wife was desperate for some honest help. Instead what happened was that we were brought over on promises that were not fulfilled, for pay that was never received, and ultimately (in my case) for humiliation.

I had been working my half of the saltwater taffy stand two weeks when Cameo called me into her office. Instead of having a legitimate reason for wanting me there, she then dressed me down in front of one of her visiting friends, criticizing the way my parents were raising me. The overwhelming point was that, in her opinion, I was missing some chance to 'live' by the cautiousness my parents practiced; I and my sisters were all being overprotected, and wasn't that such a shame?

Her friend oh'ed and ah'ed in sympathetic agreement all through this, shaking her head in dismay. Disgusted, I asked Cammy what she needed, and she said that I could go in a manner suggesting she had no clue or concern with how her actions and words had impacted me.

This was not the first time I had heard adults say rude and maligning things about my parents, nor would it be the last. Everyone expected the daughters of a Baptist minister to be well-behaved and discreet, while maintaining the right to demean the parenting that brought those results. How ironic then, that none of my sisters, now all adult married mothers, resents our childhood in any way?

We wore dresses growing up, and still choose to. We were not allowed to date until we were eighteen years of age and chaperoned, big deal. We were not allowed sleepovers at where other parents were not known and trusted, so what? We were loved strongly in an environment saturated with encouragement and praise. We were never beaten or abused, never made to feel ashamed or unworthy. As a whole, we had four great experiences in a very loving and stable home.

There were other restrictions children of today would complain about. We were not allowed to ride our bikes all over town, were not allowed to zip over to the neighbors at whim; my mother watched us while we played and taught us to be cautious, though not paranoid. None of these things

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