by Ifediba Nwokedi

Created on: October 10, 2008   Last Updated: February 02, 2010

Good grades give children and adolescents an awareness of their achievements and capabilities. Getting an A or a B for an assignment always puts a smile on a child's face and makes them proud of having worked to the best of their ability. Hence, every parent wishes to encourage their children to do their best in school. Without a doubt good grades do raise children's self-confidence. Therefore, rewarding

your child or adolescent with money for good grade is commonly seen as a good incentive.

Yet, there can be a downside to this approach. Working as a secondary school counselor and mentor, I have often heard students say: School is so stressful! Why should I come to school and study when there is nothing in it for me? The normal adult response is: "Hey, school is not only about gaining knowledge, but also learning practical organizational and social skills that will help you in your working life. That way you give yourself more choice in life! Their answer is normally: Whatever! It's easier when you have a job because you anyway get paid! I'll be motivated then.

It is not surprising that children do not automatically think of what effort it takes to get a job and all their thoughts are geared towards instant rewards and striving for constant materialistic pleasures. The concept of delayed gratification is very difficult for young children or even adolescents to understand and such an understanding can only be brought to their awareness through parental guidance. Although, this can be challenge, since children are constantly bombarded with capitalistic idea of: "Show me the money!" the catch phrase of the film Jerry Maguire. This materialistic perspective could deprive children and adolescents of a sense of self-motivation through their own creativity and interests; distorting their sense of real achievement.

Allowing adolescents and young children to believe that there will always be an instant or monetary reward sets them up for huge disappointments. This lack of perseverance and constant demand for immediate gratification also encourages them to play the victims rather than seek answers within. This highlights the question: "Does only the outcome count or is it more about anchoring knowledge and life-skills in order to gain self-confidence in ones achievements the real reward?”

Essentially, teaching young children to appreciate the process as well as the goal is vital for their future success. Ideally, children should be given positive reinforcements that do not cost anything. The best positive reinforcement is genuine acknowledgment, support, time and praise. Hence, they gradually learn how to trust themselves and their environment. This provides them with a secure base from which they can also learn to honestly evaluate their mistakes and successes.

In our ever-changing global world, where nothing is constant fostering life skills becomes paramount for a child's self-esteem. If money is the only motivator, what will children do when there is no money to afford all the pleasures they seek or simply they fail to achieve their goals? Also, how will they find the courage to face life and maintain their emotional stability when life gets a bit tough?

Although, there is no harm in sometimes rewarding your child for their effort, money should not be used as the only motivator. Teaching children to self-motivate and appreciate the joys of delayed gratification puts them on the best path to achieve good grades and learn to evaluate their achievements in a balanced way.

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