by Cyndi Li

Created on: October 10, 2008   Last Updated: October 20, 2008

I was 20 years old when I hosted my first Thanksgiving dinner. So young; so confused. Well, twenty some odd years have rolled by, and I've learned a thing or two about hosting stress-free Thanksgiving dinners. If I can spare another young soul or even an older one who hasn't figured it out yet, the anxiety, stress and uncertainty I waded through, I'd like to share my stress-free Thanksgiving secrets with you.

The meal

Are you preparing the entire meal yourself or is it feasible to pass some of the cooking on to others? Asking others to bring a dish isn't a crime and it doesn't mean you're a lazy hostess. If it's a community meal, get together with the troops, and clarify who's bringing what so you know what you need to purchase.

Don't wait until the last minute

Aside from the actual prepping and cooking, shopping is probably the biggest undertaking. Start shopping for all your spices and other necessities that have an extended shelf life around the middle of October. Anything that can successfully be frozen without compromising the quality and taste should be bought also. Buy any disposable cookware you need, and, if you're using disposable dinnerware grab that too.

The decorating

I was never a big one on decorations. A few baskets of thanksgiving corn, small gourds and some fake colored leaves are a nice touch. Some candles are always nice, as is the matriarchs of all Thanksgivings, the pumpkins. There's really no need to decorate every nook and cranny of your home; the biggest attraction is the meal.

Set the table the night before. Don't worry about breakfast. No one will probably eat anyways. They'll be saving room for the good stuff!

Tidy up the house at the beginning of the week and save the last minute cleaning for the kids to do the night before. I use to tell my boys if they wanted in on the meal they'd have to be in on the chores as well. That was usually all the inspiration they needed.

The cooking

If you're preparing fresh pies, whip them up the weekend before thanksgiving and freeze them. Same goes for homemade cranberry sauce.

Cut all your vegetable the night before, put them in containers cover them with water and place them in the refrigerator; the water will keep them fresh.

Thanksgiving morning

If there's a mister in the house, put him in charge of getting the turkey into the pan and in the oven on time. (The in-on-the-meal thing applies to him as well!)

When the time is right, start cooking your veggies and other sides. Not enough cooking space to get them all going? Cook what takes the longest first. Cover it with foil then move on to the next one. (Prepare the dishes requiring the longest cooking time first. If you cook the shorter-time ones first they'll get cold waiting for the longer-time ones)

When it's all ready, put it on the table, give thanks and dig in.

The clean up

I've never had to ask for help with the clean up. The ladies took care of most of it, the kids who were old and able enough pitched in and we always designated the trash duty to the guys.

There's really no need to turn into a raging lunatic or lose sleep trying to figure it all out and time it right. Include everyone on the preparations. It will take the mad out of the madness, and it will be one more thing you can be thankful for on this most thankful of holidays.

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