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Walk away

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It's never easy to just walk away from an abusive person. It's obvious there are already anger issues, and when they are crossed, they become more violent. Staying with someone who is violent can get you killed. It's a very touchy dangerous situation.

Even when you love someone, you should never have to endure abuse. It happens over and over again. All the sorry's, and promises are the same as they were before. Only, each time it gets worse, and harder to get away. Many times the violent one just won't let go, even though it's obvious that this party is not capable of showing love.

When someone inflicts pain on you, this is not love. They do their thing, and feel better about themselves, but it will happen again and again. Most of the time, if you do get away, they either come after you, or stalk you. It's not a life when you have to walk in fear everyday. You can never see a future when you have to always be looking over your shoulder.

Most women stay out of fear. The love has been destroyed by the violence. They see someone they don't even know anymore. You ask yourself, what did I do to deserve this. No one deserves to be treated badly. It affects the children more that you'll ever know. How can they learn how to love when all they see at home is one hurting the other.

Some people are violent because they were raised in it. That's all they have ever known. They say that an abused child will more than likely grow up to be an abuser. The sweetest person in the world can change in the batting of an eye. This person you knew and loved becomes a total stranger.

Some go out drinking, and come home and beat the other unmercifully. No reason, they were just drunk. That is no excuse. If you can't hold your liquor, then you shouldn't be drinking. Some have anger issues so bad, anything will set them off and they will go for the one closest to them. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. It's a nightmare, but as long as you stay, you can never wake up from it.

A person can leave in the morning for work and be in a wonderful state of mind. A few hours later, after someone has set them off, they walk in the front door, and all H breaks loose. It's always in the back of your mind as to what mood they will come home in. There should be no reason to have to live in fear, but how do you not be afraid when your life in in danger all the time?

There are shelters for battered women, Social services for abused children, but where is the peace of mind that you need so badly? What does tomorrow bring? How do you not be afraid? I don't have the answers to these questions. It took me years to put it behind me.

The memories will always be there, but he passed on this past year. I had a friend call me a few weeks ago, and tell me that I didn't have to be afraid any longer, because he had died. As bad as I hated that man years ago, I had long since forgiven him. I didn't want to hear that he had died. It came to my mind later, "what goes around, comes around." And yet, I felt sad because I couldn't think of one good memory after the first year of our marriage.

No one should have to die of cancer in that way. I wouldn't have wished it on him. That's a horrible way to die, and yet it came around. You just don't inflict pain on another that you wouldn't want to feel yourself. Treat people like you want to be treated.

If you live with violence, get away and don't go back. It will never change. Get some support, and be around people who understand. Fear is one of the hardest obstacles to overcome.

Learn more about this author, Candy Jules.
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