by John Carter

Created on: October 10, 2008

Uncle Paddy's Wake

There was always a family Banshee that the oldest sister could hear crying like a baby just before someone in the family died. Two or three days before Paddy died Grandmother was complaining that she could hear the Banshee crying, and there were all kinds of ghosts parading about in and out of the old family homestead. No matter then Paddy lived in a city some thirty miles away. Around 2:00 am the phone rang, it was one of Uncle Patty's sons telling Grandmother that after a long struggle Uncle Patty had gone to his reward.

You it's always funny that everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody want's to die to get there!

A death in any Irish family is always greeted with much weeping and gnashing of teeth. So it was with Uncle Paddy's passing. The family gathered together at the old family homestead where the wake was going to be held. Presently the Undertaker along with his assorted minions appeared with Uncle Paddy safely ensconced in a box. His body was placed in a place of honor in the Parlor sitting on top of a couple of milkstools covered with black felt with the lid on the coffin propped open so everyone could look in and see Uncle Paddy's remains.

From that moment on there was always a member of the family standing by the coffin in case Uncle Paddy suddenly came to life and came leaping out of the coffin like a Jack-in-the-Box. Obviously, this wasn't about to happen, but just in case you know!

After supper that night that mainly consisted of eating corned beef and cabbage washed down with the blackest tea you ever saw, the family repaired to the parlor to see if Uncle Patty had jumped out of the coffin. Since he hadn't they sat down in a semi-circle around the coffin just waiting for Paddy to burst forth. In the meanwhile they were telling each other as well as friends and passersby what a great guy Patty was in life.

Paddy was wearing a halo in the coffin!

Grandmother aside from being the keeper of the family Banshee was also the official wailer. She let out a few moans that night just getting into practice. Meanwhile in the next room that had been designated the smoking room appeared a tray of cigarettes, a tray of White Owl Cigars, and a couple bottles of Golden Wedding or Four Roses Whiskey. No glasses, just take a snort whenever you wanted!

One thing about Irish wakes they are always well oiled!

On the second night Uncle Paddy was laying in the coffin with a rosary and a prayer book in his hands. Everybody that came into the wake looked

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