by Sondra Falck

Created on: October 10, 2008   Last Updated: January 21, 2009

All That is Contained in a Shoebox

Sometimes I think the process of living is quite simply, a long lesson in the art of letting go. We come into this world and from the moment we take our first breath, people, things, thoughts, feelings, experiences, hopes, dreams, plans and expectations all begin sticking to us like those little brambles that get caught in the cuff of your pants.

We collect things, cars, houses, titles, ceramic turtles, money, and framed accomplishments neatly hung on display, as evidence that we've been somewhere, done something in the time we've been alive.

We collect people, to bring noise, laughter, love, companionship and conversation into our lives, so we can feel a little less insignificant and alone in this big universe. We look around us, at the people we have gathered and think: these are my people, my friends and family, the ones who hear me, speak to me, laugh with me, challenge me, tell me the truth even when it's the last thing I want to hear and share my humble piece of the planet.

We collect all these trinkets as we walk along breathing and try to find places to put them all, inevitably we run out of room, the load becomes too much to carry. And so begins the long lesson.

Some people we collect on our journey don't make the cut and they drop off onto the path. We let go of those people that take too much, have too much baggage, or that just don't fit anymore. Sometimes they let us go and we don't notice they're gone until one day we look for them and only find an empty place where they used to be. Other times, even when letting go is the only choice we have, we feel the loss of them like a hunk of flesh being torn away. We console ourselves by keeping tucked away in our hearts small treasures, little moments of wonderful time spent together, and let the rest go. That way even if you lose the people, you still have a sweet little piece of them.

Letting go hurts, but we survive and we keep moving.

It is the nature of hopes, wishes, plans and dreams to be bigger than the little piece of the world we inhabit. There is not possibly enough time in a day or in any one lifetime to pursue them all. So we sort through all those big beautiful dreams collected during long moments of fanciful thought until we find those few that are just too beautiful to lose. The rest we let flutter off like bright orange monarchs on the breeze, and with a surer, more focused step we walk on.

And so it goes, we walk and collect as the years go by. Now and then we sit down and go through all those trinkets we've picked up along the way, keeping some and letting go of others. The further we get in this journey, it seems, the more we lose. We learn to let go of old hurts and the people who wounded us. We let go of those lost dreams, broken promises. We forgive and in doing so we let go of anger and resentment.

And by the end, what we have left may only just fit in a shoebox. But in that shoebox is the very best that is to be found. It contains those people, those friends that withstood all of life's storms and stuck. It contains those memories, weathered and yellow from time, but still just as sweet as the instant they were created. It contains those dreams that we have achieved, and the lessons we've learned from those we didn't.

At the end when we sit down a final time to look our trinkets, there may not be a fancy house, there may not be more than 10 cents, there may not be more than a handful of people and a lot of really sweet memories. But if we've collected well, we will smile, touch them all one final time and thank them for their company along the path. We will place the shoebox down, take our last breath and once again, let go.

Learn more about this author, Sondra Falck.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.