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The word "should" in the question evokes more than one interpretation. If one interprets from that word that living together prior to marriage "should be" compulsory, then "No" would be the only responsible choice. One fit does not fit all. If one interprets that couples "should be" allowed or encouraged to live together prior to marriage, then "Yes" it can be a very helpful part of a couple's successful journey through life together.

Therefore, my vote for the "Yes" side to this question has to be a qualified "yes" based on a number of criteria. Given two people who know with certainty that they share core needs/values and goals, living together prior to marriage can be an efficient, effective, economic way to begin a shared, long-term, happy and fulfilling, married life together.

There are many steps in the transition from being single to being married. The first step is to become happily single. Two individuals who are not happy being singles cannot possibly expect to be happy as part of a couple, married or not.

Happy singles' lives are balanced, in all aspects of their lives their finances and legal affairs; their careers or jobs; their relationships with family, friends, their inner selves, and others; their mental, physical, and emotional health; their hobbies / likes / recreational activities; their spirituality and/or religion; their personal self-care; their short and long-term goals and related action steps. These individuals do not need or feel desperate to have someone to date in order to feel complete, or to better their lives.

Happy, contented, self-confident singles would rather not date at all, than waste their time and money dating people who they know are wrong for them. They understand and like themselves very well. They know how to recognize the conversations and behaviours of people they would or would not want to get to know better. They have the tools and strategies to sort out and screen people they meet, and to guide them into developing relationships based on shared core needs, values, and goals. They know how to test one another for authenticity (someone who actually lives and walks their core values, as opposed to just talking about them). Of course, compatibility and physical attraction are important criterion in any relationship. The key is balance instant attraction and lust are all too often the sole or primary basis upon which people embark on relationships.

When two balanced singles form a couple based on conscious dating and on sorting, screening, and testing strategies, a happy, healthy, long-term relationship is far more successfully achieved than for a couple whose relationship is based on neediness, loneliness, or desperation for one or both of them.

Living together prior to marriage can be a very successful experience. Both partners must be committed to: treating and talking to one another respectfully; allowing one another to have personal time and space and supporting one another's personal requirements and wants; and working together on the needs of the relationship to ensure that the relationship changes and grows, just as the individuals themselves change and grow. In that scenario, couples who live together prior to marriage save money, plan for their future together, and develop a pattern of respectful communication that will last throughout their relationship together married or common-law. Please visit my website at http://www.make-it-so.ca, to take a relationship quiz for Singles. Assess how balanced and happy a Single you are, and whether living together with your partner would be a good move for you.

Learn more about this author, Nan Einarson.
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