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It is never acceptable for children to be brought into their parents' fights. Now, that isn't to say that it will never happen. Parents are human, and no one is perfect. All humans make mistakes. And there will be times when one parent will vent about the other to their kids.

One major thing to remember is that kids are not adults. They don't have a full understanding of why parents fight, nor will they necessarily understand the concept of venting. When a person vents, they are normally just getting rid of stress and frustration, and oftentimes they say things they do not really mean. A child may or may not understand this. Children have a habit of remembering only things that really stick out, and those may or may not even be accurate. The last thing a mother wants is to upset her kids by venting about her husband and the kids taking it to mean she no longer loves their daddy. And no father wants to have his kids ask him why he hates their mother because he said such mean things about her. Venting is best done to another adult, a journal, or to each other but never to the child.

Now if you're the kind of person who vents and has a tendency to say things you don't really mean, you don't want your child to repeat that to your spouse. Children are known for repeating things; you don't want to call the other parent something not so polite only to find out they know about it and are mad as everything because your sweet kids told them all you said. This will do nothing but lead to friction in a relationship, the last thing needed when kids are involved. Yes, it might actually open the doors to communication when one parent confronts the other about something the kids repeated, but is that really the best way to let things be known? Some things are simply best left unsaid or at least not known to be said. Frustration and anger leads to hurtful words that a lot of the time are not only unwarranted, but do nothing but cause more trouble.

If the parents are separated, it is just as important for parents to try and avoid venting about each other to the kids. No one wants to realize their child thinks they are a creep, especially if they find out their child believes so based on things the other parent has been saying. Kids aren't going to understand and it's hard enough dealing with separated parents; to hear one talking about the other does nothing but break their hearts.

Kids, for the most part, adore their parents. I knew many boys (and girls) who were quick to start a fight if anyone said anything bad about their mom or dad. But they can't do that if it's one parent talking about the other, unless they are older and willing to defend them. And that simply leads to another relationship being hurt - the one between the parent and the child. Venting can actually drive a child away from the parent who does it too often, preferring to be in the company of the one who doesn't do it all the time. It's more peaceful, less stressful, and for the kid who loves both their parents, easier because they aren't playing defense. It just hurts kids when their parents are at odds, and even if they don't really understand the words, they understand the expressions and tones and it just causes confusion and unease for them.

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