by Sadaf Farooqi

Created on: October 08, 2008

Traditionally, occupations such as cooking, sewing, fashion designing and interior decorating were considered the exclusive terrain of women. Today, however, they have all witnessed incursions by men, to some extent. One domain, though, still remains predominantly women's-only, and that is home-making. This is because it is woman's innate nature to be the master of her home. As manager, guard and coordinator, she happily does the household chores and caters to her family's needs, while the husband, more often than not the chief breadwinner, remains absent throughout the day at work.

Allah has acknowledged this aspect of the functional family unit, by instructing women to be "guards" of their husband's property and honour in the latter's absence:

"Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to the husband), and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard"

[ Quran, Surah Al-Nisaa: 34 ]

Guarding "what Allah would have them guard" implies that a Muslim wife should guard:

Her husband's property (house, money, belongings, and anything which he leaves behind),
Her own modesty and chastity, and finally,
Her husband's honour and reputation.
Guarding her husband's honour would mean not mentioning him, his character, or his deeds to any third person in a derogatory or defaming manner ever. Although the world generally frowns upon an untidy home in disarray, or a cheating wife flirting with other men, this aspect of a wife's loyalty her maintaining her husband's honour behind his back is something even many "good" wives fail to accomplish. Women generally speak well of their husbands to people they are not close to. It's the close relatives and friends, however, who unwittingly cause slips.

Be careful of unintentional slips in conversations with other women:

Even if there is no major argument between the couple, how often we see Muslim women casually commenting to each other about their husband's shortcomings. Whether on the phone, or during a visit, it is common to hear them complaining about their husbands to their mother, sister, cousin, or best friend. Even if they discuss their husband lovingly, some hidden aspect of the comment, or merely the tone of voice, sometimes carries disdain or derision.

"The plumber came, and I had to rush back home to supervise his work, as [my husband] is totally useless; on Saturdays, he lies in bed all day and does absolutely nothing"
"My husband snores so loudly, it could scare anyone who hears him in the middle

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>