by B real

Created on: October 08, 2008

FIELD TRIP

So, you want to know what a single-parent's Friday night is all about? It's what I like to call "field-trip!" And on that cue the 13yr.and 9yr.old know it's time to fight over who gets to sit shot-gun for the short ten minute drive to Wal-Mart. As the three of us walk in the 13yr. old grabs the cart, following the nine year old and I, who are already greeting the greeter like a long lost relative while ever so cleverly taking our fair share of the smiley stickers. We continue to stroll our way into the store, and while passing the impatient, waiting to pay customers, we each hold a smile from ear to ear bestowing the Barbie wave, as if we are in the famous Macy's parade. The confused look on the patrons faces are enough to make the blue-vested employee wearing the Manager badge; grab her radio to dispatch a "special meeting in aisle twelve with all available employees." The three of us can't help but crack up and continue to stroll to the bumping cart area.

This is the section where marketing thought it would be funny to place all the most needed items in an area where you hear your fellow shoppers saying things like "You can never have enough of (you fill in the blank) for this price" We, on the other hand, find ourselves saying "Are we out of toothpaste, shampoo, soap, razors, mouth-wash etc.. already?" After we get out of the traffic jam and release our road rage we head over to our favorite section of the store- The Electronics.

My nine year old dashes to the single, bolted, hand held controller and whips his neck as far back as his cervical vertebrae will allow, so that he can see the game on the TV. that is about five to ten feet directly above his head. I head over to the flat screen's that have Plasma, HDTV, LCD, engraved on the bottom right corner of the screen as I stand there starring saying OMG. I switch all the screens to my favorite Friday night show so that I can compare which one I like the best. In the meantime my thirteen year old is flipping through the music c.d.'s singing every chorus of every c.d. she flips through, without the karaoke machine.

After deciding that I really don't need a flat screen, and catching my breath from laughing so hard at my favorite sitcom, I give my daughter the wink, and head shake, she grabs the shopping cart with all of the items we picked up from the bumping cart section and makes her way in the same direction as I. We head towards my nine year old who we can hear saying "Mmm nah, I'll probably get bored with this one too, but thanks again sir," as we turn the corner we see my son handing a game to an employee who already has a stack of games in his hand's rolling his eyes and grunting "So you don't want any of these games?" I politely say "No thank you, but can we pay for these few items here?"

Embarrassed by his eye rolling, and grunting, the employee, of course, doesn't refuse us, so we pay, thank him, and as we stroll towards the front of the store to hug our long lost relative good night, the fight for shot-gun begins as soon as the automatic exit doors open up for us.

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