by Katie Lane

Created on: October 07, 2008

It was the best month of my entire life. I spent the entire summer in Oxford, England, completely drenched in a culture that I was in love with and surrounded by people that literally kept me alive. Heathrow airport was crowded that day- there were tourists going home and people coming home and I was so bored. I had been sitting on my tired butt for eight hours watching people come and go.

When we got off the lift, finally, (inwardly sniffling at my last chance to use British slang and let it be justified), I looked across the room and there she was- my best friend from Oxford, Erin. I nearly cried with excitement and ran over to hug her. She was nearly bawling herself.

"I never thought I'd see you again," she sobbed, and we hugged. She was so tiny, so small, and I'd never hugged anyone so tightly before, I thought I was going to break her. We cried and cried and sat down in the corner and talked.

I didn't want to say goodbye. It was the hardest thing I had to do and as long as we kept talking we never had to say goodbye. We talked about anything to get our minds off of it- we played a card game, we talked about the fun times we had, movies, trivia. Time passed by so slowly that we ached because we knew it was running out.

Finally Brandy, one of the counsellors, came up to me. It was time for my flight to board and I started to cry so hard. Erin quickly grabbed her purse and onto my arm and said, "Wait." She unclipped something, pressing it into my palm.

It was a small leather, red fish that was a keychain of sorts that I had named Haley that was always attached to her purse. It was her prized possession. She quickly shoved it into my hand and cried as well and she hugged me and whispered, "Take it, please."

I looked at it and began to cry more. "No, no, Erin," I said, and then reached into my purse and offered her my stuffed animal, a pig I named Butter, "then you have to take this."

"No, Katie," she said, and she cried and shook her head, "no, I can't do that to you, go, get your flight, please," and we were both blubbering, crying so hard. I put the pig back in my purse reluctantly.

I quickly grabbed her and squeezed her so tight and ran off to catch my flight, the fish in hand. It was the last time to date that I've seen her. See, we live across the continent- she lives in British Columbia and I live in Nashville, Tennessee, and those two places aren't exactly next door neighbours.

Looking back I realise that it was the only time that I ever would've willingly gave up Butter. She accompanies me everywhere I go- school, home, you name it, she's there. I have a tendency to get emotional and when there's no one around to hug, Butter will hug me. But it was worth giving up for Erin, because it was the last time I was going to see her for a long time.

Goodbyes are sort of like that. We're so willing to sacrifice everything so that a goodbye isn't forever- as long as Erin had my stuffed pig and I had her fish, we would be together in spirit if not in body. I would've given Erin anything she wanted had she asked.

Though we've parted ways, I know it's not forever. Receiving the small, red, leather fish clip from Erin named Haley is just a small symbol of the extent of our friendship. She was willing to give up the fish, but she wasn't willing to give up the memory of me. And that is what goodbyes are all about.

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