by David Elder

Created on: October 07, 2008

When your elderly parents become ill there are some very difficult decisions that have to be made. Most, if not all of us prefer to live in our own homes, surrounded by the possessions and memories of all that we've worked for our entire lives. This desire is even stronger in the elderly, who have labored to establish their haven, only to be robbed of the pleasure of enjoying it by the onset of poor health.

So far this year my family has been fairly busy with medical emergencies. My father is eighty eight, my mother is eighty five, and my mother-in-law is eighty five. My father has had carotid artery surgery, a major stroke, and a major heart attack. My mother has had gall bladder surgery, a stroke and a major heart attack followed by heart surgery. My mother-in-law has had retinal and corneal transplants and is disabled. She also fell and fractured her skull, losing half of the blood in her body before she was found. They all live at home but have had temporary stays in various convalescent homes this year.

Safety is the foremost consideration in these situations, and a level head is needed when trying to convince an elderly parent that they need help. Unfortunately, it sometimes takes an accident to persuade a senior parent to accept assistance. Whether it's the loss of physical mobility or the inability to drive an automobile, sudden changes in the life of your elderly parent can cause them anguish. Their long held position of power over their lives as well as the feeling of being the emotional support for their children is abruptly turned on its head.

It's important for all in the family to share the responsibility for the care of the elderly parents. If the burden isn't shared equally by all of the siblings, hard feelings inevitably result, and those who choose to do more than their share can find themselves burned out. Feelings of anger and guilt are common in these circumstances as the caretakers wonder if the rest of their lives will be spent ministering to their aging parents, while others in the family ignore the situation.

There are several things to remember when dealing with a senior parent, that we sometimes tend to forget. Ill health is a fact of life for the elderly, but that doesn't mean that it's acceptable to them. An elderly person is often gripped by fear of impending death, or will ignore the fear and avoid treatment. Both of these attitudes are dangerous to the elderly, who must maintain a positive attitude and try to look at their health

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>