We are our own worst enemies. We allow too many of our own thoughts and other people's opinions, come in and bully all over us. And until we figure out a way to knock those bullies down to size, we will continue to be beaten, day in and day out.
Who are the gigantic bullies that black-and-blue our very souls? Fear is one of them. He has drawn a circle around us and dares us to step out of it. We wouldn't think of stepping out of the circle we know so well. It is our comfort zone. We can't get hurt as long as we stay in the circle.
We can take care of Mr. Fear by working on his weaknesses. Why does he make us so scared? Are we afraid something bad will happen? Do we think people won't approve of us? Are we afraid of rejection? There are solutions to all of these problems.
We must consider that if something bad is going to happen, it's just going to happen, whether we are in the circle or not. We need to realize that God has the control and we do not. The solution for this is to find a better relationship with God, and trust him with every fiber we have in us.
Are we afraid that people won't approve of us? Some are not going to approve of us, no matter what we do. We cannot be worried about getting approval of everyone. There are all kinds of people, with different backgrounds and opinions. That is what makes each of us individual. We need to realize that we are unique. There is a chemistry among people. There will be some people who we don't like, before we even meet them and others that give the feeling that we never were strangers. Consider also, the choices we make may please the brother, yet not the father. The best thing we can do, is be ourselves, do what makes our own life work, and don't worry about what other people think.
If we are afraid of rejection, there are words of wisdom for this also. How do we know if we will be accepted, if we don't even try. As a writer, I am used to rejection. It is one of the best ways of getting experience, there is. It strengthens us. It helps us to try harder. Once the first few rejections are out of the way, it becomes a mission to get accepted. Our thirst for knowledge sets in, as we learn all we can to beat the odds. We are not the only ones getting rejections. Think of all the singers and writers that got turned down many times over, before becoming big. You can bet those who turned the successful one down had their worst enemy in themselves, come out.
Failure is a close cousin of rejection. This is when we are afraid of letting ourselves or others down. This can be fought by realizing that we are all human, all sinners. No one is perfect. Failure is merely mistakes, and we all make them. This is how we get life experience.
Another bully is shyness, which is a form of fear. In a sense, there is nothing wrong with shyness if it doesn't hold our confidence back. Some people are more outspoken than others. Some who have to eat their foot all the time, probably wish they had some of our shyness, such a serene personality. I have been shy all my life, which is why I love to write. I allow the words on paper to become my voice.
Other confidence stealers include, the one who thinks he can't do anything right, and the guy with the negative attitude. For these people, they need to begin meditating that they can do something right and good things do happen from time to time.
I have saved for last, the people who rob our confidence from us. If anyone has ever told you that you are stupid, can't do nothing, can't ever become someone, well, you have had the wrong advice. We need to look at the source of who tells us this. These people have problems of their own. Why would anyone want to dampen the good of another? If you answered this, it wasn't a good reason, was it? They have done it out of spite, to hold you back because of their own insecurities, or maybe they just don't know how to deal with people. Every person has worth and gifts, if they choose to use them for the good.
When we don't have confidence in ourselves, it is because we have allowed someone or something to step in and run the show. What we do in life is our own life- our own show, and we ought to step up to the director's chair and claim our position. How do we know what we are capable of, if we don't even try?