by Lisa Beach

Created on: October 06, 2008   Last Updated: February 13, 2010

Nowadays, we sometimes feel as if we know so much, and yet so little; Life ebbs and flows in a way we do not understand. And just when we THINK we have it figured, it changes. The same is true of marriage mores and values. Once upon a time, life was dictated in such a way that by a certain age, you were married and had kids. Mom was a stay at home mom, and Dad was the breadwinner. To this very day we tend to think in those stereotypical images: however, those "Father Knows Best" days are gone. They've been replaced by a high tech; high stress, 2-paycheck family, and the reasons to marry are diverse.

Over all, I would have to say the worst reason to marry is because it was arranged FOR you, on your day of birth. There ARE some countries that cling to this antiquated tradition, like India for instance. Indian men and woman are betrothed to each other, instead of marrying for love.

Personally, I cannot fathom marrying someone I not only don't love, but don't even KNOW. You cannot have respect for someone you do not know. Particularly bad is the fact that once the husband gets his new wife pregnant, he leaves. He leaves for some other country to find work, and "visits" home approximately every 18 months. Hopefully the wife has family to fall back on.

Of course America has a slightly different version of this, laughingly called a "shotgun" wedding, where the guy is held at gunpoint by a farmer, until the "boyfriend" says "I do" with the farmer's daughter. I'm not even sure that shotgun weddings are real; they COULD just be part of what makes certain movies comedic: but the idea is the same; being FORCED to marry someone. It's very easy to cheat on someone you don't love.

A spouse marrying his/her mistress/ playboy is another bad reason to marry, because statistics show once a cheater, always a cheater. When the cheater is a man, neither he nor the mistress realize that many men turn to affirmation of their masculinity because they have hit Mid-Life Crises. One day, a guy who has it all; career, home, lovely wife and kids, decides he doesn't know who he is anymore or where his life is headed. He wants to be young again, to feel invigorated the way he felt back then, when ANYTHING was possible. These men fret because they have met all the goals they set for themselves, and it doesn't occur to them to set more goals. New, CHALLENGING goals.

Deciding to marry because a spouse found out about the cheating is never a good idea; not to mention, once the newness wears off,

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