Search Helium

Home > Creative Writing > Humor

Humor: Shopping at the grocery store

by Michael Harrison

Created on: October 06, 2008

Of all the domestic duties that happen throughout the course of life, this one has to be the easiest but most frustrating to carry out. It all boils down to what kind of shopper you are as to where the level of frustration will ride with you. If we can look at the different kind of shoppers we might be able to narrow down the time gaps of when the group you belong to will most likely be shopping. Not that this will make it any more convienient. It will just help you to be around more of the people in your catagory, as I will explain in a minute, some of the shoppers you encounter at the grocery store can make the encounter miserable. A few survival tips before are in order. Never shop on an empty stomach. It sounds like an old wives tale, but it's true. You go in there hungry and your checking account will never be able to handle the load you put in that cart. Try to go by yourself, especially if you have kids. You'll notice things in your cart at the check out line that just mysteriously appeared and by the time you notice, the checker has already rung it up and bagged it. If there are mulitple items you are in search of, make a list or carry a cell phone, if you don't you will most certainly forget the most important item you went after and will be making a return trip to get it. Now on to the shoppers.

The singles. They are very easy to spot. They will either be carrying one of the little hand baskets or the new small carts you see in the stores nowadays. This shopper rarely ever gets in the way and is usually in and out of the store in about 10 minutes. The biggest items you will ever see them get are things like laundry soap or pet food. They generally use the express or self check-out and almost always pay with cash or credit cards. Speed and efficiency is the name of the game with them because they've had an awkward expierience in the store before and don't want to have another one. Don't be fooled by the guy walking through the store with the hand basket that is overloaded. He is not a single. He made a married persons typical mistake in not taking a rolling cart. Married people who pop into the store for one or two things NEVER get out that easy.

The speed shopper. These shoppers are mildly aggressive. They aren't interested in how much something costs and could care less what brand of particular product they choose. They are easily spotted as well. They'll usually be pulling the cart from the front and will be making a straightline to the area of

262597

Featured Partner

Tomorrow's Peacekeepers Today

Tomorrow's Peacekeepers Today's short-term mission is to provide vital security information to non-government organizations (NGOs) and recommendations on how to protect third-party nationals while on the ground in foreign countries.more


CONNECT WITH US

Read
our blog
Helum for writers

Write and get published
Share with other writers
Polish your freelancing skills

Join our active writing community
Helium Content Source for Publishers

Quality articles from proven freelancers
Exclusive rights, fast turnaround
Brand engagement, business blogging -- our writers do it all

Get custom content today!

INFORMATION


Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA
#