by Mizie Cheng

Created on: October 06, 2008   Last Updated: April 11, 2012

I grew up having my mother at home looking after us. Though we had financially shortfalls, my parents made it a point that mom would not work outside of the home. I enjoyed having someone to come home to. Someone to be able to make time for me. Someone to be able to ensure that I am disciplined.

Parents who work out of the home, sure, their children do learn initiative and independence, but that does not go to say that children whose parents stay home do not learn such things either. It is entirely up to the parents whether or not to teach their children good habits and values.

I appreciated mom making it for all my prize-giving ceremonies from kindergarten all the way to high school. I appreciated mom making it for all of my sports meets every year. I appreciated mom being present and active in my schooling years. I appreciated mom for being there to watch out for my boy-woes. I appreciated mom for watching out for my phone use. I appreciated mom for monitoring my whereabouts. Too many things to appreciate mom for staying at home for us children. It would not have been possible should she have gone out to work.

Of course, dad was not as able as mom to be as present at home, but when he was not at work, he was home with us children. His presence gave us a father-figure to look up to. A man to show us what a real man should be - committed to his family, strong values and character, integrity, honest, hardworking and loved his wife. A man to show us what we should value in our future husbands.

Contrary to some beliefs that parents who are home control and smother their children, I hadn't experienced any of that in my life staying home prior to getting married. If being monitored and disciplined were stated to be controlling and smothering, I'd say that it was rather, a method of helping us grow up and learn wisdom. Parents, I believe, do not take delight in having a hobby of regulating their children's whereabouts and actions. I believe the monitoring and rules that they set are for the best interests of their children, to protect them from whatever harm the outside world can bring.

This does not go to say that children whose parents stay home are overprotecting them. Sure, there are some parents who do overprotect their children, but again, this is the decision of the parents, and it is within their control whether or not they want their children to learn independence and to grow up socially adjusted.

How a child turns out does depend to a certain extend on whether their parents stay home or not, but it is not solely dependent on that factor. It is still up to the parent to decide how to bring up their children.

For myself, I'd prefer the side of stay at home parents, though. Cheers!

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