by Mizie Cheng

Created on: October 06, 2008

Falling IN love is sometimes easy, sometimes takes time to grow; STAYING in love - now that's a different story all together.

I didn't FALL in love like falling head over heels. I slowly grew in love with my then boyfriend, now husband. With our experience, it was cooler on one party's side than the other's, namely mine. My now husband, then boyfriend was interested in pursuing a relationship with me, one that led to marriage. However, I was not as keen as he was; I was just a young girl, afraid to make such definite and big decisions. I wanted that my relationship would end in marriage and I was not sure that that would happen.

Cutting the long story short, I grew into loving this man who is now my husband. It took wooing, and courting, and promises of enduring commitment to help me grow into that love. It took a man who was able to show me his sincerity and good character to help me grow in love with him.

Falling in love, to me, does not exist. Falling into attraction, oh yes, sure! But love is a different matter, for love is not about lovey-dovey feelings and feeling goosebumps all the time. The heart could not take that much work, for a fact! Love is about looking out for the other's well-being and best interests, sometimes at the expense and cost of your own happiness and interest.

I could never, even on hindsight, imagine myself falling into love and being able to commit myself to selfless giving of myself to another human being at first sight. Much too selfish, I am. But aren't most human beings such too? We grow into being selfless. We're not born to be selfless immediately. Feeling like we're in love is a real thing, but implementing and carrying out the meaning of love is sometimes not as easy as the feelings. Or should I say, it's so darn difficult. So difficult that many people profess love and then a short while later to only say that the feelings don't exist anymore. But is love all about feelings and nothing else? Love, yes, is a feeling. But it also is a commitment. To love and to cherish. To nurture and to give. To encourage and to grow.

Now that we're married, and only recently so for the past 1 month, it's nice and easy and fun. But the challenge is staying and ever growing in love. Love that looks for the best interest of the other at the expense of my interest and happiness, sometimes. It's relieving to know that it isn't all the time, isn't it?

To the many people who will be falling-growing in love, cheers. To the many who are already experiencing that love, continue to grow in love and give of yourself! Love will come round and touch you back!

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