by Scott Birch

Created on: October 06, 2008   Last Updated: October 08, 2008

I am an Atheist and recently had the opportunity to attend a church service in a small town called Grenfell, Saskatchewan. I buttoned my lip and my shirt, all the while, somewhat excited to step foot in a church for the first time with my new eyes. During the proceedings I took nearly five pages of notes in my small scrapbook, this article was the result.

It's a quaint place. There are hymnals in the back of every wooden pew and a red carpet leading to the modestly elevated stage at the front of the room. There is a wooden crucifix sitting by the far corner of the platform with a white cloth draped gently around the crossbeams.

The overweight, middle-aged minister is wearing a blue baggy button down shirt that doesn't fit properly and a tie that is about six inches too short. He's inarticulate and his jokes sink without a chuckle, but he seems to hold the attention of his "flock" well enough.

He is speaking on the subject of doubt this morning, which is ironic considering my presence in his crowd and the tree tattooed on my wrist as a symbol of evolution. The man introduces his topic with a list, the three types of Christians:

Those who are currently experiencing doubt

Those who have had doubt before

Those who will experience doubt

I suppose his point was that every Christian experiences doubt, or what I would call rationality, at some point in his or her lives.

It's interesting how the Christian religion turns doubt into a virtue. Describing it as an inevitable hardship that is necessary in order to become a stronger Christian. "However," the pudgy speaker says, "If you allow doubt to overcome you, it becomes dangerous." I'm assuming that the danger he alludes to could be the conversion to another religion, or even worse, to a complete absence of belief.

He has begun to sweat and his sermon has been deduced to various yells and stutters, occasionally satisfying his annoying habit of shouting "Good-morning!" whenever he feels the congregation hasn't given the appropriate response to his incessant babbling.

"It's your choice," he says while speaking about whether or not a decent person should choose to overcome their doubts or succumb to them. I wish I could have asked him exactly what that choice is, but organized religion is more of a totalitarian dictatorship than a free speaking and thinking democracy. My inquiry wouldn't have been earnest anyway, I know exactly what the choice is, and it isn't much of a choice at all.

He is surely right when he says he has something

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