by Sally Thornton

Created on: October 06, 2008

The golden years, or are they? News week Magazines recent survey suggested renaming these years the dark ages. Why? Because there are many challenges the elderly must face. They worry about mental decline. Is their mind going to go off balance, so they cannot say whether they are sick, or if they are hungry, or are they happy or depressed. Some even feel, if they went on to death, everyone would be better off. Accepting the fact of not being able to do for themselves, gives them a feeling of unworthyness.

How do you view old age? What can be done to promote peace of mind in an aged family member? Senality is the number one fear of the elderly. A poet once described the memory facilities as "the Golden Bowl." That would be our brain with its treasured memories. You can reassure your family member that forgetfulness occurs at any age, even you forget. Tell them memory loss is common in later life and usually does not go to the farthest degree.

An aged person has these feeling to cope with, as well as feelings of uselessness. The more loveing and caring received from family members; the better they will cope by concentrating on the things they can do rather than on things they cannot.

As family members, we must recognize the fragile condition, of the elderly parent and reassure them, they will not be left alone to face their golden years. Let them know arrangements has been made for their care, in the family home. We are better able to give needed love and care. There isn't any health care facility that is going to give to them, what a family member will. I, personally, have seen for myself, the lack of care and concern when a facility is chosen over home care. When visiting, everything is A O.K. Wait until you leave and they administer whatever is needed as they see fit. Recently, moving an individual that was in my care, from the nursing facility to the hospital, the paramedic ask if he was on oxygen. I responded, yes he is. I was informed the hose was not even connected to the unit or plugged into the wall. When my grandmother was at home with an oxygen machine, her unit was cleaned everday and was checked to be sure everything was operating correctly.

There are adjustments in the household which will need to be met by all family members. An open discussion by everyone involved should take place before the elderly family member is brought into the home. Recalling how your parent took care of you when you could not care for yourself will help you to understand the kind of care your parent should receive. Anything more you can do, but certainly no less. Arrangements will need to be made for some one to be at home with grandmama all the time. Setting up a schedule will be benificial. At times grandmama will need a fresh air ride in her wheel chair, that is a good time to give grandmama a treat and get your exercise time in, as well.

Doing all you can for you parent and realizing this is the last days you will have to enjoy their words of wisdom, will give you a warm feeling inside and when they are gone, you will be able to look back and say their last days was filled with as much joy, love and compassion you had to give. Our eldery parents are our responsibility, and one day we will be the responsibility of our children. They will know the compassion you gave. You have set the example and the Circle of love goes on.

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