by Linda C. Turman

Created on: October 04, 2008

I don't think that yelling at a child really gets a definite response that one actually wants from the child. I think that it adds insult to injury. First of all, getting upset and screaming at the top your lungs only makes matters worse. The child can very well tune you out. Yelling or talking to them at a normal tone doesn't seem to work anymore. We know that sometimes, they only want to hear what they want to hear. Especially if it's to a good advantage for them, like something they want or want to do! Another thing is that they will run to their room and slam the door behind them. Now, you are mad and they are mad. This is another way they can block you out. So nothing gets resolved anyway. Yelling became useless at that point!

When I was a child, I was very good at blocking out any yelling. I was a very quiet child to begin with. I kept to myself for the most part. But, becoming an adult and having my own children, I can certainly understand how we as parents lose patience.It's not that our children don't hear us, because they do. But, parents rule. That's the basics right there. We expect our children to obey us-do what they are told/asked when we ask/tell them. So when the child sits there with his favorite song on his hand-held cd, trust me he/she hears us anyway. Even if they are watching tv, same thing. I think it's our yelling that automatically falls into place at these particular times. We feel that we half to. Then we repeat and repeat the yelling until we're blue in the face. Then punishment usually comes after that because the yelling didn't get through to the child! But, after the yelling episode, it's amazing how they hear the punishment, though! It seems like we're at our wits end buy now. Then we say:"I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with that child!"

Later on, when the heat is over, we try to reconsile. We try to come to reason or make a deal with the child.Sometimes we'll apologize for yelling and explain that it seems that they din't hear you. The child will usually tell you that they heard you. When you ask why they didn't respond to you, they usually say:"I don't know!" Well, maybe they did, maybe they didn't. We can't really be sure, but, we do know that they did all along. So, we know already that the yelling didn't work anyway!

When we have more than one child it becomes a lot harder to discipline the children. Especially when they become teens. Sometimes sooner, but none the less, we can't help but yell back, because of the parent role. We know that the older children will yell back leaving you even more upset. Now, we're pulling our hair out. Maybe it's like pulling teeth to get their attention! But, we do know that yelling is just a waist of energy anyway! So, NO, yelling does not help. We have to find another means of getting our point across to our children. It needs to be something that you and your child/children can come to a compromise with!

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