by Rosa Hayes

Created on: October 04, 2008   Last Updated: August 06, 2010

Being married to an older man has it's ups and downs but there is something that you must understand, no matter what you hear you can not take it to heart since it does not determine how your relationship is or how it is going to be.

When I first got married to my older man I kept thinking about what everyone was going to say and how I would react to it. I was upset every time I saw someone looking our way and whispering even though I didn't know what they were whispering about.

I often thought about dying and the fact that my husband would probably die fifteen or twenty years before me. I would often picture him in a coffin and me as a widow. I still do this but not as often since I have come to realize that we can not stop death but we can go to the limits of making sure that we have a happy life together.

I have been called many things and so has he but over time this too will be just another thing for you to ignore. After you have been married for a few years and people start to realize that you truly are in love they will stop with all the nonsense. People don't have to like the idea of you being married to an older man but they will have to live with it as long as you are married to him.

My family never criticized me since they said that I am an adult and being an adult means that you get to make your own decisions. My husband's family critiqued him for as long as I can remember only now they do it without it being in front of us. I get invited to the family events and life moves on.

Your family and friends may not understand why you married an older man and it is not your job to make them see. If you love this person then it will show and people will start to realize that you are happy. If you are happy then this should be all that matters.

As long as you are married to this older man keep one thing in mind; you are happy and in love and if people can not see this then it is not your fault. Being married to an older man doesn't mean that you should listen or do what everyone says is best for the two of you. The two of you are individuals who have decided what works best for you is to be married to one another.

People who are married to an older man will see that they can be just as happy as someone who is married to a guy the same age that they are. Being married to an older man does not mean that you have to live with all the criticism but you must first learn how to deal with it so that your loved ones can move past it and allow you to be happy with your spouse.

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