by Irrira Rikki

Created on: October 03, 2008

THE WRONG WAY

Have you ever, with the best heart and intentions bought, at the only store in a tiny town where you have never been, and chosen something nice, for morning tea? Well, I was just learning the language, and managed to point and use my fingers for numbers, for slices of cake. Arriving home, my friend and helper (because I had had, a motor accident,) offered to make it. She only spoke the language of the local folk here in South Africa.

I remembered their 'a' was as an 'ar' sound, but didn't know a word for cake, when it was brought in so nicely, without the cake on the tray. Asking in my best Afrikaans, I thought... OK, just change the sound of the 'a' in cake. Written, there is no 'c' but a 'k' is the same. Everyone there - about 12 roared laughing. Why? What had I said that was so funny? Funny! Funny didn't touch the word. I had literally said, "Oh Lisa, please also bring us each a piece of (sorry for this one, but) 'sh.t'! I learned that one fast.

Another time when at my glitzy Revlon counter, I had become mostly bi-lingual... but not quite. An extremely classy middle aged lady, approached saying she felt faint (in this same language.) So in my best voice, and aways empathetic towards any who 'suffer' offered her the lovely cosmetic, velvet chair, saying, if she could sit for a second, I will bring some water just to wet her lips. "My dear!" she exclaimed in perfect English. "Where on earth did you learn to speak like that!"

Explaining, I worked in the day with Revlon, and with the homeless by night, I was given a very good example of, how to say it to a human being, and not a dog! There was a very big difference when it came to the 'mouth' of a person, and that of a dog. She was so taken aback, she was cured from fainting in a split second of my offer! And I learned another word. Obviously I was leaning how to speak to others in the gutter of life. But we parted on good terms.

Then there was that time when staying at a caravan park, it as about 2-3am. and we ere still all talking, quietly, outside. It was too hot inside, as I was trying to tell the group 'something' about a chicken. I knew it sounded something like the word for a dog, but different. Before I realized, I was crowing like a rooster to demonstrate what I meant. Too late! Thank God the park was in the country, and some campers might have thought it was morning... but my group laughed 'till they cried. It was unexpected for me too.

I seemed to be always opening my mouth the wrong way.

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>