by Avery Lynn

Created on: October 03, 2008   Last Updated: November 19, 2008

If I could, I'd straighten you up
I'd pet the dog and all her pups
Make you feel warm and safe
and kill the roaches we find in our place

I'd rotate the tires and clean the gun
and call your mother and tell her she's fun
I'd clean the kitchen and walk the dogs
and make you feel like less of a hog

I'd wash the chevy and mow the grass
I'd get new trailer windows made of glass

The bills'd get paid and the kids would eat
and I'd give you something to do besides sleep

I'd rock your world just like before
when you'd be yell'in to give you more
and we'd wake the kids up every night
and they'd end up cry'in cause we'd start a fight

I'd buy you a year's worth of lottery tickets
and I'd finally find that big noisy cricket
I'd fill the car all the way up with gas
and I wouldn't laugh at your big fat ass

I'd shine my shoes and take you to Denny's
and we'd take the kids even though there's too many
I'd shave the cat and shave myself
I'd put sticky paper on the kitchen shelf

I'd be nice to your friends that are stupid and mean
and dangle their smokes on lips of vaseline
I'd never make fun of your runny mascara
I'd even sleep with you whenever you wanna

I'd read you a bedtime story or two
of Cinderella getting money like I used to do
I would if I could I should as Robin Hood
but I can't and I shan't
cause you wear those fat circus pants

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