by Teresa Brouwer

Created on: October 03, 2008   Last Updated: January 03, 2012

A man can beat a woman to a pulp and cheat on her endlessly, but this will not make a woman become a lesbian. Women may be raped by men and family members, but, again, this will not make a woman become a lesbian. Why? Because based on many opinions and scientific facts, gay women and men are born this way.

It is amazing how religious beliefs and anti-gays are always trying to find ways to make gays become straight. They think that they can change them, save them, and make them what "normal" is suppose to be. People make ridiculous assumptions that women who are abused by men or hurt by men become gay; that women who are turned off by a man's attitude or lack of empathy choose lesbianism.

I was verbally, mentally, and physically abused in an abusive 12 year marriage. I lived in misery and was treated like pure garbage. I was accused of cheating on my EX, had everything thrown at me but the kitchen sink, I've been choked at 8 months pregnant, and lived in pure hell for as long as I could remember.

I turned to my Female friends for support. I sat up and cried, vented, and screamed to my Female friends everyday. They were my constant support, they helped me get through, they took me out, we drank together, went to dinner together, worked together, but never, ever did I want to sleep with them no matter how passionate and powerful our friendships were.

The only thing I felt towards men from this relationship was lack of trust. I didn't trust men and yes at one point I couldn't stand men. Their "attitude" turned me off, their "control mechanism" turned me off, however, my "attraction" towards men didn't change and my sexuality didn't change. That is the key factor: "Sexuality." There is a difference between experimentation and actually "Becoming" a lesbian.

A woman's friendship with other women are far more greater than that of men. Women automatically are soulfully close to the point where they can feel a "connection" far beyond an average friendship. Some women have friendships that are so deep, so special that they will put their friends first before their husbands, but this doesn't mean that they are going to "Experiment" or cross that line if they are not gay.

Sexuality is far more greater than a one-night-stand or an experimentation. Sexuality is what we are born with. It is who we are. We cannot change that. We don't "turn" gay, we don't "become" gay - we are or we aren't.

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