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Things to do in winter in Telluride, Colorado

wandering around with frozen urine colored snow pants the entire evening, make it up to them with some snowmobiling. When they shudder for fear of you getting lost, panicking, and causing an avalanche, reassure them by hiring an expert guide.

HORSEBACK RIDING

The only thing that could make the sore buttocks, stiff knees, and rattling teeth of horseback riding more pleasurable is the chance of getting frostbite while enjoying snow-capped peaks and mountain views in the Colorado Rockies.

EXTREME SPORTS

Just in case, ski injuries no longer excite you, try snowbiking, ice climbing, paragliding, heli-skiing, or avalanche-jumping. OK, I made that last one up.

CHECK OUT SKI BABES OR HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS

Whether hanging out with friends at the Bluepoint Grille and Noir bar, catching live music and scoping out the hotties at the Fly me to the Moon Saloon, lying to ski babes and enjoying libations at the Last Dollar Saloon, or kissing up to your wife while eating dinner at the Sheridan Chop House, you'll soon discover, the funnest activities in Telluride begin after the sun goes down.

SHOPPING

Don't worry. No matter how much you irritate your wife, embarrass your children, or insult your mother-in-law, it can all be resolved by breaking out the credit card and working overtime for the next 8 months to pay it off. Downtown Telluride's twelve block shopping and entertainment district, the beautiful business district of Mountain Village, and friendly boutiques in nearby Ouray offer plenty of items you would never consider buying at home, but are willing to pay exorbitantly for while on vacation.

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