by Tzan Alexander

Created on: October 02, 2008

It's 4:30 p.m., you are in the store with your child picking up a few things before heading home to make dinner. You've had a long, hectic day and all you can think about is getting home, and taking a long soak in a very hot bath. Your sweet child is riding in the cart and asking for (more like demanding) everything under the sun. You try to be firm, but loving, the first couple of times you respond "No" to his requests. Some where around the fourth or fifth "Mommy, I want...", your child's voice has dropped the sweet tone and picked up an unpleasant whine. Your voice has all but lost that loving feeling and your patience is quickly slipping away like sand through your fingers. You know the emotion explosion is coming so what do you do?

The first and most important thing is to take a deep breathe. It will help you maintain your sanity and clarity. Remember you are the adult, they are the child. As such, maintaining your composure and self-control is key to diffusing a temper tantrum before it transforms into an all out ugly monster fest. This is especially effective when you have an audience witnessing your sweet baby angel suddenly sprout horns, turn on the water works full blast and let out an ear piercing crying scream that can be heard miles away.

Next, you need to choose the appropriate and most effective strategy to stop the kicking, screaming, crying and whining meltdown that is occuring. There are several options to choose from, so pick the one that you feel is going to work the best for your situation, your child, and yourself.

Option A is to rollover. Meaning, give in to your child so they will immediately stop. Funny how that works. One second your child is giving an Oscar worthy performance of how unfair their life is, complete with automatic tears and snot, whining, unintelligible verbiage, kicking, punching, screaming, begging and pleading. Then you say "OK" and suddenly, the sun has come out, birds are singing, flowers are blooming, your child's face is as dry as a bone, the snot is gone, and they are right back to being a calm, sweet child. While this option will definately yield immediate results, in the long run it actually does more damage than good.

Option B is to pretend you are deaf and ignore your child. This may work some of the time, but if your child is really trying to get your attention and "really, really, really" wants whatever it is they are asking for, that may actually cause the volume and intensity of the tantrum to increase exponentially

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