My daughters enjoy the best of two cultures in having a white mother and a black father. However, this combination did not come without its troubles. The most notable trouble surprisingly turned out to be their bi-racial hair. Hours have been spent trying to untangle knots amidst the falling tears and pleas to stop brushing for just a moment. Both girls have long very curly red hair that never fails to get compliments every place they go. Compliments which are always followed by the unending question on how I manage to get a comb through their hair. For years I could supply no answer as I was still trying to figure that one out. I spent vast amounts of money on products promising to tame the tangles and loosen the knots. I listened to advice from my mother in law and beauticians. It seemed an impossible task to find someone who knew how to handle bi-racial hair. All the advice was either totally ethnic or totally not ethnic. I needed to find a middle ground to solve this problem.
During the time I was about to give up and shave their heads I found the most wonderful girl at Sally's Beauty Supply. She had bi-racial children herself so she understood the middle ground. She sold me products that actually worked. I will share with you what I learned in hopes to of saving another from the wrath of the brush.
First of all, I was told not to use a brush on knots or while the hair is wet. The brush was causing the breakage that framed my oldest daughter's face like a mini lion's mane. Skeptical, I traded in the brush for a hair pick and a wide toothed comb. My skepticism faded as I used the hair pick to easily remove tangles and knots. The wide toothed comb nicely went through the hair without causing it to frizz out. I was also told to comb from the bottem up. If you start at the top the tangles form into more difficult tangles and knots on the way down the head. Starting from the ends and slowly working your way to the root removed the tangles easier and in much less time.
Secondly, the girls now sleep with their hair in braids. This is a simple and easy tip but valuable nonetheless. During the night it was as if little fairies came and played in their heads. They would go to bed in nicely combed hair and wake up with stubborn knots. My toddler would get knots from her head resting against her carseat. Braiding the hair prevents it from getting all tangled up during the night or on long car rides for that matter. This made combing the hair so much easier and faster in the morning.
Third, I learned that detangler sprays are not worth the money. Most detanglers contain alcohol which dries the hair. I do suggest Paul Mitchell's Awapuhi Moisture Mist. It is essential to comb the hair right after it is washed so the hair is still wet. My girls have such dry and course hair that keeping it wet during combing is difficult. The Awapuhi Moisture Mist kept the hair moist while combing.
Keep it moisturized! Bi-racial hair has a tendency to be dry. It can be a challenge to keep it moisturized. Dry hair breaks easily and looks frizzy. My Sally Beauty Supply lady suggested the Silk Elements line. It has a mild scent. That is very important as many ethnic hair products have a strong and sometimes unpleasant smell. I purchased Silk Elements Silken Child Xtra Moisturizing Shampoo and Silken Child Xtra Moisturizing Conditioner. These products are $3.99 each as compared with salon brands at three to four times the cost. My oldest daughter noticed a difference right away and requested I continue to buy Silken Child. To take moisture one step further I also purchased Silk Elements Mega Cholesterol conditioner. This is a very creamy and thick conditioner that can also be used as a treatment. I have had much succes with this product.
On the same line of moisturizing, you may also need a leave-in conditioner. This helps keep the hair managable throughout the day. Depending on the hair a moisture spray or light conditioner may do the trick. For more course hair you may want to try coconut oil. You can find it at a beauty supply store or in the aisle of your grocery store. I have a little tub of coconut oil I use for my girls and it keeps their hair managable and shiny without being greasy.
I am not a beautician or a saleswoman. I am simply a mom who found a solution to her children's bi-racial hair. Silk Elements is not the only line of products out there that may help. I learned brandname is meaningless but the basic principal of keeping it moist is essential. You need to find a product that is not too heavy or greasy yet will maintain the moisture balance of the hair.
Our routine is fairly simple. My daughters was their hair with a moisterizing shampoo and conditioner. We use a heavier condition when necessary. I comb through the hair with a wide toothed comb and use a hair pick for any tangles or knots. I keep the hair wet with water or moisture spray while combing. Finish it off with a leave-in conditioner or some coconut oil. I will then braid it or leave it down but it always gets braided before bedtime. Keep it simple and keep it moisturized. The great mysticism that sourrounds bi-racial haircare can be debunked.