by MJ Beatty

Created on: October 02, 2008

Ah, flirting. As a single girl, I loved it. As a married girl, I love it, too. But in both situations it has had its perils. When I was single, there were fine lines delineating flirting. Too far in one direction you are "a tease", and too far in another you end up hooking up with some guy you aren't even that into. Now that I am married, too far in any direction gives the guy the wrong idea and at the same time pisses off your husband!

If used properly, flirting can be a healthy way to release the inevitable sexual tension that builds when you are surrounded by attractive men but legally and morally obligated not to mess with them. But a sense of balance must be kept. If you take it too seriously, the flirting could lead you too far in many directions. Luckily, along with the dark eyed, tousle-haired hotties that want to flirt by the coffee maker at work, there are also the awkward losers standing around the mall trying to pick up on anyone with boobs.

For example, I rode my bike up to Petco ("Where the pets go!") the other night to get some stuff for my dog, Otis. When I came out, there was this tallish, medium build, average-looking guy with glasses standing by the bike racks. He had on khaki Dockers and a red polo shirt-like he worked at Target, but there was no Target anywhere near by. He was smoking, and kind of staring at me. I acted like I didn't notice him. He said, "Mumble mumble mumble mumble, huh?"

I looked up.

He said, "Getting some shopping done, huh?"

"Yeah," I said.

A longer-than-usual-conversational-pause later, he said, "Is that for a cat or something?"

"Dog."

"Oh," (Another longish pause) "it's just that single gals usually have cats."

"Huh," I stated non-committally, and reached up to unlock my bike, positioning my left hand so that it was in plain view.

"So...last year the Humane Society did this thing where pets and their single owners could go listen to music and drink wine."

"Yeah?" as I put my helmet on with exaggerated left-hand posturing. "I have a dog," he started in, "what dog park do you go to? Actually I don't really have a dog. I borrow one from my neighbor. She lets me borrow it because dogs are good for attracting women. But it likes the dog park..."

Borrowing a line from Miranda on Sex and the City, in the episode where she has a bad date in central park with this guy who refuses to go anywhere other than Manhattan, I got on my bike and said "I have to go feed my cat."

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