by Tim Gray

Created on: October 01, 2008

Advances in medicine are moving as rapidly as all other areas of technology. Today, health practitioners can sustain life long after one might choose otherwise. Perhaps, this is an unpopular position, but where is the dignity in abject cognitive decay and the absolute loss of any independence? What is it about death that we fear so greatly? Why do we keep people alive with sustainable vital signs, long after their senses of experiential enjoyment and purpose have completely eroded?

I'm not advocating reckless euthanasia, but aging can be very cruel. Dementia and macular degeneration have reduced my mother's life to that of an infant. Knowing her as well as I do, she wouldn't choose to continue under her present circumstances, if given a choice. She refused to use a cane or wheelchair, when smitten with osteoporosis late in life. Her unwillingness to be even that dependent resulted in numerous broken bones, on multiple occasions.

My mother was an artist and excelled in the area of interior decorating. She had the visual gift, but it has been taken from her by the passage of time. Her inability to process information has deteriorated to the point where she can't answer my questions anymore. It breaks my heart to call her frequently. I try to maintain a positive demeanor, only to sob once we've said our goodbyes.

I know her very well and she would not find her present circumstances acceptable. Once a vibrant and elegant woman she has been stripped of all the dignity and independence she battled so hard to maintain, over nearly nine decades.

My mother is 87 years of age. She has lived a long, productive and meaningful life. However, the final chapter has become one of sorrow and tragedy. I miss her terribly. Our relationship was put to rest within the last year, as the dementia stole more and more of a creative and intelligent mind. Today, she is a docile as a puppy and a shell of her feisty old self.

Death is inevitable. Why is it so many spiritual people do everything they can to avoid it, if the eternal salvation they seek all their lives lies on the other side? Bluesman Albert Collins says it best when he sings, "Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."

Very little in life is dichotomous. In many cases there comes a time when the quality of someone's life is so completely non-existent, that they needn't be made to suffer or live in a barely sustainable manner, simply because medical technology has advanced to such a questionable degree.

I love my mother very much. It's because I love her that I've grown sickened by the degree to which she's been allowed to deteriorate. I hope my position is sincerely understood. If death is unavoidable, then so be it. It must be allowed to happen in a reasonable, dignified and honorable way. Her life's work is complete and it's time she reap the rewards that lie beyond the last breath of life.

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