by Holly Haverstick

Created on: September 30, 2008   Last Updated: January 04, 2010

Age is mind over matter. That's what I've always heard. But ask the parent of a teenage girl who wants to date an older man, and I bet they'll tell you differently! I know, because I was that teenage girl. And now at the age of 34, I still am. I never quite outgrew my fascination with older men. Good thing, too, because if I had, I never would have found my soul mate!

May-December Romances are becoming quite common and aren't nearly as taboo as they used to be. A five-year age difference is no longer considered a big deal. Ten years? Depending on who's older, it's typically well accepted. Now, a gap of 15 years is usually when the heads start turning. But who cares, right? You're in love, and age is just a number. Often, a very exhilarating number to both parties involved. One person gains comfort and stability while the other experiences a renewed sense of youth. It's all so perfect! That is, until the novelty wears off. After the wow-factor is gone, are you prepared to deal with what's left? Like the inevitable quiet-time you'll encounter when you run out of common interests to talk about?

If you're dating someone substantially older and you're considering a longterm commitment, there are a few things you might want to think about first. For example, will your family be accepting of him and of the relationship? What about his family? It might not matter to some couples, but it's a deal breaker to others.

Here's something else to think about - when his innate fathering instinct kicks in (and it will), will you accept his concern graciously, or will you resent him for it? Do you love him enough to remain faithful when his looks (and hair) are gone? When he is 80, how old will you be? THAT is when age tends to matter most. Will you be his nurse, or his wife? Can you handle the possibility of not having someone to grow old with?

These are all legitimate concerns, and they deserve some thought. If your family is aware of your potential relationship, you've probably heard them all before. If not, prepare yourself - you will.

Just remember, they're not trying to give you a hard time. They're looking out for you. They know what it's like to be so deeply in love you can't see the forest for the trees. They want what's best for you, because they love you. You might not like their advice, but listen to it anyway. Let them guide you, but not direct you. It's your life, and you have as much right to be happy as they do to be concerned.

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