I was blessed for 13 years with the companionship of two daughters almost two and a half years apart to the day. My oldest was the clown, the entertainer, the boundary-tester. My youngest was my buddy, my quiet one, and the one who kept the peace. Something happened along the way and suddenly we found ourselves with teenage daughters; we found our world turned around and upside down. Don't get me wrong: daughters of any age are a blessing and a gift and always a surprise. Always, always a surprise.

The oldest daughter broke us in with various behaviors we never anticipated: talking late at night with boys we didn't approve of, wanting to go, go, go and almost a total rejection of what we used to do together. My youngest weathered this storm by laying low and avoiding conflict, and I'm ashamed to say by developing an eating disorder. That's a whole other story.

Our youngest daughter is every bit as strong as our oldest and is growing wiser every day. In fact, both of our daughters have handled some very difficult life changes the past three years: their father's declining health, medical bankruptcy of the family and my health has had some twists and turns. They both feel they are stonger for it.

However, the fact remains that they are normal, typical teenagers who are sometimes volatile, sometimes unbearably sweet and sometimes downright nasty to be around. We are also normal parents in that sometimes we react appropriately to situations and their moods and sometimes we do not. Here is my list of things not to say to a teenage girl.

1. Isn't that a little low-cut? This will provide you with a blank stare as in: Of course its a little low cut, you moron! You can re-phrase simply as: Too much cleavage. She'll say: Thanks, that's what I was after.

2. Can you be in by midnight? This will get you laughter and guffaws. When the laughter stops, you ask again, and you get the response: Are you kidding? Do you realize that being in at midnight is so not normal? Don't you want me to be normal? Just because you are not normal... don't make me a laughing stock of the whole town... and so on.

3. Why are you using that on your face? This can apply to lotions, potions, dyes, makeup, or any substance found in a typical American home. This will not make them angry but it will open you up to an hour long explanation that you really didn't want in the first place.

4. You really must learn to get more organized. This is a phrase you never say because

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