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If I allowed my children to make the family decisions I would have neon green walls and ice cream for dinner every night. However, if I allow my children to engage in the decision making with my guidance we challenge our children to make proper decisions. Our job as parents requires us to guide not only the child before us but the future adult he will become. Family sets the stage for life yet through the lens of parental protection and values. Obviously, the extent to which a child has say in family decisions is dependent on age and maturity.

Family unit or teamwork are values many of us hold dear to our hearts. How do we teach such values to our children? More importantly how do we test those values? A team typically has a captain who instructs the rest of the team on which plays to use. Yet, a good team captain considers the opinions of his teammates. A parent is the team captain who makes the final decision yet does so considering the thoughts and feelings of his children. This is not a sacrifice of parental authority but an enhancement. The child feels involved in family affairs, listened to, and respected. In turn, the child will project that respect back to the parents. This will lead to a more harmonious home even when the parent makes a final call that may conflict with the opinion of the child. Kids strive harder to be heard than to implement family policy. What validates a child more than his parents considering his thoughts on family matters?

Allowing children to take part in family decisions will give them the confidence they require when having to make decisions on their own. At some point our children will be faced with making a decision outside of the protection of our loving arms. One develops a sense of confidence by experience and guidance from a knowledgeable source. Children who have parental guidance through the many forks in the road will confidently choose left or right. A parent who is strong enough to allow his children some say without diminishing his authority will develop strong, confident and focused children.

There are times when it is not suitable for a child to have say in a family decision. Those decisions should be determined by the parents. Yet, when a decision can involve the children's input it is important to allow them to be heard. Children who feel they are being heard will not spend time trying to be heard by any means possible or by any person who will listen. Strong parents encourage a family unit and not a dictatorship.

Learn more about this author, Joelle Synclair.
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